The Merciless Fox Child
by Byakko Loki
Summary: Because of a incident as a child, Naruto discovered Kyuubi at a young age and began training under him. Later, he is known as Kitsune, the merciless fox child of the anbu. Now, he is about to face the biggest challenge of his life: becoming a genin on a team with a brooding avenger, a pink haired banshee and a lazy pervert who's always late. The real story starts by the end of ch 2
1. Prologue

**Welcome to "The Merciless Fox Child" by Century Viscount!**

**Description: Because of a near death experience with some if the villagers, Naruto discovered Kyuubi at a young age and began training under him. Later, he is known as Kitsune, the merciless fox child of the anbu. Now, he is about to face the biggest challenge of his life: becoming a genin on a team with a brooding avenger, a pink haired banshee and a lazy pervert who's always late. How will he survive and will he be able to keep his mask up and his secret safe?**

**Enjoy~!**

_Prologue_

A young boy, no older than three, was currenlty running through the darker streets of Konoha, located in the slums. He had approximately eight men trailing closely behind him, as they all yelled various curses and insults to the boy they had apparently labeled as 'demon', 'kyuubi', and 'monster'.

The little boy had never understood why they did this, and why only him? Most of the things the men said he didn't understand and made no sense to him. Confused, there was nothing he could do but to keep running.

As he reached a corner, he made a sharp turn into the nearest alley, hoping to fool them. He had no such luck, however, as it wasn't easy for a toddler to outsmart a group of men, all at least forty years of age.

"Damn Kyuubi... Trying to escape, huh? Well, looks like you only succeeded in cornering yourself."

"N-no, that's not wha-"

"Who do you think you are, trying to burden us with having to search for you?!"

"N-n-no!"

_CRACK_

The young boy stumbled as he tried to stand, clutching his wounded head tightly while steadying himself with the bloodied wall.

"Che! Cocky brat! Who do you think you are, DEMON?"

"Aaaahhh!" The boy cried out as he was kicked into another wall. Ignoring the burning sensation in his abdomen, and the bile rising in his throat, he attempted to stand again only to collapse again when he tried to take a deep breath, and was met with excrutiating pain emanitting from his chest area. Clutching at his heart, he tried again, this time taking short rapid breaths as to ease the pain.

"What, you think we're done?"

The next few minutes the boy was met with such pain as he had never before experienced in his life. This beating was by far the worst so far. Struggling to breath, he forced his eyes to open, only to shut them again when blood dripped into his eyes. Shakily raising his hand, he wiped at his eyes and forehead, slightly unnerved by the silence surrounding him.

Then he heard someting.

A chuckle.

"We're not done yet..."

Naruto's screams could be heard throughout Konoha, though no one spared a glance. All who'd care were long fast asleep, and all those awake were silently enjoying his pain, and his screams.

After fifteen minutes of endless suffering, the men paused for a moment as the boy's wounds healed like magic before their eyes.

One of the larger, buffer men, pulled some sort of strange knife out of his pocket, along with a strip of paper. Upon closer inspection, he noticed the two were conected by a thin, yet noticably strong string/thread.

The boy was curious as to what it would do, but taking his filthy blond hair, now caked with buckets of his blood, his eyes npw pinkish from the blood that had made it's way into there, his bleeding bloody nose, and the trail of blood oozing down his chin as it drip drip dripped it's way out of his mouth. His previously yellow-ish white shirt with a red swirl on it and short blue pants were now all dyed a deep blood red. In the corner you could see a puddle of bile and splattered along the walls was gallons of his blood, now regenerated inside his body thanks to a very special tenent.

Taking this all in, he realised, with terrifying dread, that he didn't exactly _want_ to know what it did; not so much anymore. He squinted his eyes closed as tight as he could and waited for the pain that was sure to follow. He was surprised, however, as it never came.

He opened his eyes and his face was striken with horror.

They had wanted him to watch.

He was engulfed with such immense pain that he didn't know left from right. He couldn't think at all.

He lie in agony for what felt like as hours as his screaming wouldn't stop until his throat could make no more noise, and still he continued on spasming and twitching as he appearing to be having a stroke.

And somehow, he eventually found himself unconcious.

~~~PAGEBREAKER~~~

Awakening, he looked around, taking in his surroundings. He appeared to be in a sewer of some sort.

He realised, with shocking clarity, that all the had mysteriously evaporated, and he now found himself wearing fresh clean clothes.

He reached up to ruffle his own hair and trail his face, only to find it clean as well - not a speck of dirt.

Unsure of what to do, he began aimlessly wandering around, searching for any form of life to play with, or to assure himself he was not in the afterlife, and that the afterlife wasn't some sewer that smelled like blood and a fox that hasn't taken a bath in about three years. He reached a large opening and entered, only to be met face to face with a giant fox that had menacing red eyes and stared down hard on him, as if he were it's next meal, and bearing nine tails that swished back and forth behind the beast.

Emitting from him was what the boy was sure to be killing intent; however, upon seeing the boy, it seemed as if the fox soften his gaze the slightest, looking at the boy with almost pity in his eyes.

"Wh-who are you? Where am I? Wh-what am I doing here? Wh-why-"

"**Silence, kit."** The fox ordered him. Immediately he shut him mouth**. "I am the great Kyuubi no Yōko. Right now you are inside your mind. You are here because that nasty villager nearly blew you up. You would have died, had I not pulled you into here so I could protect and heal your body; after all, if you die I die. Any more questions, kit?"**

"Umm… Just one."

"**Go on."**

"What's the Kyuubi no Yōko?"

~~~TIME SKIP~~~

It had been four years since Naruto had found out about the Kyuubi. Kyuubi had explained everything that had happened—including the fourth being his father and Madara forcing Kyuubi to attack the village. As it turned out, Kyuubi had actually done nothing wrong. Madara had used his sharingan to take control of Kyuubi's mind and attack the village. According to Kyuubi, when he had come to the villagers had been attacking him and he had had no choice but to fight back. He was actually a really nice and caring guy. He even offered to train Naruto—which Naruto had of course agreed to. Naruto would often spend the days eating, shopping, reading, and training—though he mostly trained during the night when he was sleeping and would escape to his mind to hang out and train with Kyuubi.

Naruto had also eventually developed a mask. While on the inside he was upset and lonely, and so much more than that –despite having Kyuubi—on the outside he always seemed like some cheerful idiot. He had found that putting up this façade made the villagers less wary of him, and, in turn, they gradually began to leave him alone. Of course he still got hundreds of glares directed at him nearly everywhere he went, but he had gotten used to it—though it still bothered him.

Enough of that, let's talk about the academy. Because of Kyuubi's training, Naruto had far surpassed Genin level. In fact, he was probably low jounin by now, or at least high chuunin. Soon enough, he'd be strong enough to surpass the three legendary sannin. Who knows, he might even surpass the honorable hokage! Anyway, we're getting off track. As I was saying, Naruto was far stronger than the other students, but there was no way he was going to drop his mask now. He had decided that he'd wait a little longer before he dropped it—maybe once he passed the graduation exam or after the chuunin exams. Oh well, that's not important right now so we'll save that for later. Now, as I was saying, Naruto had decided to keep his mask on throughout the academy, barely passing every test and exam they had. To further make it believe able, he had even pretended to have a huge crush on this super annoying pink-haired screaming banshee, and major Sasuke Uchiha fan that just so happened to have a huge forehead and annoyed the hell out of him. Oh well, it was all part of the act. (By the way, he's not totally emotionless and all depressed and all that. He actually really enjoys pranks and messing people that's another reason he's called fox—if you don't get that which you probably don't just keep reading and you'll figure it out.) During class, he'd go into his mind to train while Kyuubi would multi-task by coaching him every now and then while keeping an eye out for Iruka-sensei. Speaking of him, Iruka had been the second person to break/see though Naruto's mask, the first being the hokage. Though, unlike Iruka, the hokage knew about Naruto secretly training with Kyuubi, and had even approved of it—once Naruto told him the truth about what had happened all those years of course. Once again, not important right now, maybe we'll get to that later.

Being in the academy Naruto had finally made some friends—albeit not many, and not too close, but friends still; and for that, Kyuubi was happy for him. You see over the years, Naruto and Kyuubi had actually come to be pretty close—like brothers almost. Naruto had even developed a jutsu where he would create something similar to a shadow clone and Kyuubi would possess it. This shadow clone like blob would then transform and mold itself to look like a beautiful fox. Though, it only had one tail as to not draw attention from the villagers they happen to see it. When Kyuubi possessed it, Naruto and Kyuubi could hand out with each other like normal, as if he wasn't actually sealing inside Naruto's stomach.

However, that's not all there is to Naruto. Once the council caught wind of Naruto's secret intelligence and power, they had started a riot (not literally, but you know) demanding to speak with the hokage. A meeting was adjourned and the hokage had eventually got them to calm down upon making different offers. Eventually it was decided that Naruto would join the anbu. This happened about a year ago, and Naruto was slowly making his way up in the anbu ranks, even making a legend out of himself. He became known as the merciless fox child, bearing the mask of a fox, with the stealth as well, he was known for showing no mercy to his victims. It was his way of payback as the villagers never showed any mercy to him. The child part was of course because he was short and known to be not even ten years old, and already one of anbus best. He was known as Kitsune, and this was only the beginning…

**TBC...**


	2. Graduation Day

WELCOME to CHAPTER 2! :DD

Description: Because of a near death experience with some if the villagers, Naruto discovered Kyuubi at a young age and began training under him. Later, he is known as Kitsune, the merciless fox child of the anbu. Now, he is about to face the biggest challenge of his life: becoming a genin on a team with a brooding avenger, a pink haired banshee and a lazy pervert who's always late. How will he survive and will he be able to keep his mask up and his secret safe?

This'll have more explaining—albeit not as much as the last/first chapter—and then will continue on with the story. I hope you like it! 3

CV66

Chapter 2

Naruto woke up to the sound of howling. Blinking his eyes open, he turned his head slightly to see him froggie clock. It read "6:34". He heard another howl. You see, after a while of Naruto waking up late and being tardy just about every day, Kyuubi had decided to start waking him up early to get ready. His 'brilliant' idea was to howl every morning until Naruto woke up. WAIT. Do foxes even howl? Maybe it's because he's a demon fox with nine tails… oh well. Naruto was startled out of his thoughts by another howl.

"Alright, alright, I hear you!"

"**Then get up."**

"Do I haaaaaaaavvee tooo?" Naruto whined while using his special "puppy eyes no jutsu".

"**Yes."**

"Whhhyyy? Can't I just skip one day?"

"**No."**

"Why the hell not?"

"**Because, Kit, today you take the graduation exam."**

"Oh."

That's right, today was the day. After several years suffering through boring lectures, only managing to survive by pulling pranks and training in his mind, Naruto would finally free. Of course he'd still have to go on stupid D-rank missions, and maybe some C-rank missions, but at least he'd be doing SOMETHING.

"**Kit, you're spacing out."**

"Thanks Kyuu."

Naruto pulled—more like dragged, actually—himself out of bed and went into the bathroom to take a shower. He took off his clothes, revealing the many scars that marred his body— the most distinct one being his left eye. It was a wound that he had received when he was only three years old. It was a large red-pink scar that covered a good quarter of his face. The area closed to his eye was a darker red, while farther away it was more of a pink color. The scar reached from his eye and covered his ear as well. (It's the same as zuko's scar, from avatar: the last air bender.) Where had he gotten such a scar, you might ask? And why did no one notice it? The answer(s) being simple enough: One, the scar was from the explosion all those years ago, when he first met Kyuubi. His eyes had been closed at the time, so they were not affected, only the skin surrounding it. Two, no one noticed it because he was constantly hiding it with a genjustsu. Turning towards his bathtub, he crouched down beside it and turned on the hot water all the way and turned the cold only slightly. He changed it so that the water came out of the shower head, before opening the curtain slightly, only enough so that he could slip through. Taking ahold of the shampoo, he began washing his hair. He proceeded to wash himself until he was squeaky clean, and got out to dry off.

He wrapped himself in a bright orange fluffy towel and ruffled his hair with a blue one, just as fluffy. He blow dried as well before leaving the bathroom to get dressed. Searching through his draws he pulled out an ugly orange jumpsuit. He actually liked the color orange, but this much was too much. Still, it was the only thing he was able to find at the time and actually suited his mask. You know, the whole class-clown dead-last thing. It probably annoyed the hell out of his classmates, having to look at it all the time. He didn't have to look at it, because he was wearing it. Ha. He just loved messing with people…

"**Kit… You're spacing out again."**

"Heh, heh… Sorry 'bout that. Just so distracted today…"

Naruto broke out of his trance to continue his daily routine. He put on the ugly orange jumpsuit and strapped on his ninja shoes. He didn't bother to put on his goggles today (HEY! I just realized something! Team 7 seven is supposed to be just like Kakashi and Jiraiya teams right? WELL. In Kakashi's team, Sasuke is Kakashi, Sakura is Rin, and Naruto is Obito. Well guess what? Obito wears goggles, too!) Because it was obvious he was going to pass today, so if he wore them he'd end up having to carry them home—which would just be a pain in the ass. He went back into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Doing some hand signs, he performed the usual genjustsu to cover his scar. Smiling as he put on his mask, he couldn't help but feel slightly disgusted at himself, having to act this way all the time. He truly hated his mask, so it was no surprise that the rest of his class agreed with him and seemed to be annoyed be his mere presence. 'Not the time,' he reminded himself. Forgetting his disgust for now, he left the bathroom and went into his living room to get some scrolls. Finding them, he sealed them into his right shoulder. (Where guys normally get tattoos?) The scrolls he sealed were: a sealing scroll for his favorite ninjato (it has a black blade and an neon orange guard and sheath), a sealing scroll containing various medicines, ointments, mesh, and bandages, a summoning scroll for the fox contract, as well as multiple other summoning scrolls for the horse contract, the panther contract, the cat contract, the tiger contract, the lion contract, the phoenix contract, the dragon contract, the hell hound contract, and the demon contract. Finishing, he walked over to his bedside and grabbed him froggie wallet named Gama-chan and keys—then proceeded to leave with the door locked behind him, and began his short journey to school by the rooftops.

When he finally reached the school, and entered his classroom, he was surprised to see that not many kids were actually there yet. Now, don't get him wrong, it definitely wasn't common for many kids to be here at this time—considering he was actually here quite early—but he'd thought maybe they might actually all be on time today because of the test. He supposed that the reason behind there absence was most likely because they had been so restless last night, and maybe the last few nights, that they got little if any sleep, and had ended up oversleeping. Either that or they were up late practicing and/or studying and didn't get to sleep 'till late, also resulting in oversleeping. Yes, that must be it. He was completely sure of himself.

Looking around, he checked to see who was there already. He saw five or six people that he knew. One, Sasuke Uchiha was, as usual, brooding in the corner. On the other side of the room, Kiba Inuzuka was entertaining himself by letting Akumaru chase Shino's bugs around. Then, in the back of the room, there was Shikamaru Nara, as usual, sleeping, and Chouji Akamichi (sp?), eating chips. Flavored grape. What. The. HELL? Okay, not that Naruto was one to talk, considering his daily diet usually consisted of ramen, ramen, Ichiraku's ramen, and more ramen. So really, he had no right to judge—but that just sounded out right DISGUSTING! I mean seriously, grape? GRAPE? Anyway, Naruto was just about to take a seat next to the brooding avenger, just to annoy him (GOD he loved in messing with people!), two blurs, one of pink and green, and the other of blonde and purple barged through the doorway—only to get stuck, shoving each other back and forth, each trying to get in before the other. Ignoring them, he continued to sit down, only to see the avenger's eyebrow twitch the slighted when he sat down. Inwardly, he smirked, while on the outside he was grinning a lopsided grin and pretending to be oblivious. He knew it annoyed the hell out of the Uchiha, but the damned bastard would ask him to move, only to use him as a shield against the terrifying fangirls.

Suddenly, he was pulled out of his thoughts by a pink screaming banshee—oh, wait, that's Sakura. 'Oops, my bad…'

"NARUTO! MOVE! I WANNA SIT NEXT TO MY SASUKE-KUN! NOW, MOVE!"

'_Bitch…'_ "Eh… H-hey, Sakura-"

"MOVE IT!"

Sakura suddenly tried to shove me off my chair, and out of habit I accidently blocked her 'attack'. I mentally cursed—I was supposed to let her hit me, being dead-last dobe I was. It was a small screw up, I know, but in the shinobi world, even the slightest of mistakes could cost you your life. She seemed slightly surprised at it, but got over it quickly and yelled 'Naruto!' before hitting me on the head with her other hand and stomping away. That was NOT supposed to happen. According to how I planned it in my head, Sakura was supposed to yell at me and knock out of my seat before practically switching personalities (I swear I wouldn't be surprised if she had multiple personality disorder or something…) and kindly asking the Uchiha is she could sit next to him—as if that seat wasn't just occupied by me. Then Ino Yamanaka would come over, demanding that she sit next to Sasuke, as she got into the classroom first. Then more girls would some over complaining that they were there before both of them, and that _they_ should get the seat. I mentally cursed Kami for ever creating fangirls in the first place.

Anyway, getting off track here. The rest of the day was just plain boring. I passed the test, Mizuki got pissed and attacked me, Mizuki was arrested, Iruka bought me eighteen bowls of ramen—nothing interesting. The next day I woke up to Kyuu-chan howling again and did the same ritual I did yesterday, this time putting on my head band along with some new clothes—my anbu clothes to be exact. I liked them much better to truthful. My anbu gear consisted of the usual—anbu black pants, tape on the shins, black shinobi shoes, except mine was a little different. Mine I wore with an orange scarf. Normally, as an anbu I'd wear a black muscle shirt along with the black and grey armor and metal arm guards and gloves, but I didn't want them to know I was anbu—especially since by wearing a muscle shirt, they'd be able to see my spiral tattoo, a requirement for all anbu. So, instead, I wore a long sleeved black shirt with a red swirl on the shoulder—a symbol of the Uzumaki clan (like the shirt Kakashi always wears with the sleeves rolled up a little under the vest except it's black while Kakashi's is blue). Finished getting ready, I grabbed my keys and wallet just before leaving door locked and heading to the academy—my torturer for the past couple of years. Arriving at my classroom, I entered to find just about everyone here—obviously having had a good night's sleep thinking there was nothing to worry about now that they passed. HA. Idiots. Can't wait to see the look on their faces when they all hear about having to be on three-man squads with a jounin sensei, and having to take another test. It'll be _hilarious._

Taking my seat next to Sasuke. I waited for the rest of the students to arrive.

…

…rumble….

…RUMBLE…..

'The _hell_?'

Right now just about every person in the class room and within a fifty mile radius were all wondering the same thing… 'Is that an earthquake?'

"I'M FIRST!" two voices yelled simultaneously.

'Oh, _great_…"

"_**Love**_** the sarcasm, Kit."**

'Shut up…'

Today Naruto let Sakura hit him, and everything happened the way it was supposed to yesterday. Nobody questioned his outfit, but he could tell they were curious. Some kids even kept sneaking glances at him. Even he had to admit—he looked pretty damn hot.

…

Okay, maybe not that much. But if maybe he dropped the act/his mask, he might look better, because, in truth, if he acted and dress accordingly, he'd have a fan club that'd rival Sasuke's. Without the ugly orange jumpsuit that was several sizes too big, you could tell that he was more fit than previously thought, but you still could see much of it because hardly any skin was showing except for his face. You couldn't even see his neck because of the orange scarf, or his hand—only his fingers—because of his fingerless plated gloves. But in truth, he was actually VERY fit. Very, _very_ fit. And damn sexy, too…-For a kid.

While the girls were arguing about who got to sit next to Sasuke, Naruto climbed onto Sasuke's desk and stared at him. Ignoring Sakura and company's protest for him to stop glaring at their precious 'Sasuke-kun', Naruto continued glaring, with Sasuke glaring back there was no way he was going to back down now. It's be a total loss to his pride. So he kept staring. And staring. And staring… Suddenly he felt something knock into him from behind causing him to fall forward. He felt his lips connect with something…and suddenly his eyes widened to saucers, as did Sasuke's.

He just kissed Sasuke Uchiha.

He just KISSED _Sasuke Uchiha._

He could already feel the glares…

Holy FUCK.

He was SO dead.

Aaaaaaaaaaannndd….. CUT! SCENE! END! That's a wrap everybody!

Soooooooooooooo… How was thaaaat? Much longer than the last chap, right? Hope you enjoyed!

Oh, and **IMPORTANT!**

**VERY IMPORTANT—MUST READ!**

**Should I make this SasuNaru?**

I was planning on having **no pairings**, but idk why not. Though I must warn you, I've **never** written ANYTHING yaoi before. Hell, I've never written ROMANCE before! **EVER!** Though I _have_ read **LOADS/TONS AND LOADS/TONS** of it!

Soooo….. Your choice! Whatever you choose, I'll try to write. Keyword: TRY. **Please hurry and pick because if I don't get enough people saying SasuNaru I'm just gunna keep it as no pairings.**

Well, 'till next time.

-CV66


	3. Welcome to Team 7

~~~(*o*)~~~

**I'm BACK!**

**WELCOME ALL TO CHAPTER THREE OF THE MERCILESS FOX CHILD!**

**Sorry to those who wanted SasuNaru, but last time I checked it was a tie, so I decided not to—it's easier this way and besides, when I first began writing this story I had planned on no romance anyway.**

**Again, sorry.**

**Thank you all that reviewed. I'm sorry I have no internet now because I'm in Queens right now—which is about an hour or two away from my house—so I won't be able to reply to all your reviews, but to the one who asked when Naruto became an anbu, it was mentioned at the end of the first chapter. Here:**

"_**However, that's not all there is to Naruto. Once the council caught wind of Naruto's secret intelligence and power, they had started a riot (not literally, but you know) demanding to speak with the hokage. A meeting was adjourned and the hokage had eventually got them to calm down upon making different offers. Eventually it was decided that Naruto would join the anbu. This happened about a year ago, and Naruto was slowly making his way up in the anbu ranks, even making a legend out of himself. He became known as the merciless fox child, bearing the mask of a fox, with the stealth as well, he was known for showing no mercy to his victims. It was his way of payback as the villagers never showed any mercy to him. The child part was of course because he was short and known to be not even ten years old, and already one of anbus best. He was known as Kitsune, and this was only the beginning…"**_

**That was when Naruto was about seven years old then, so he became an anbu when he was about six. Did that help you?**

~~~(*o*)~~~

**Description: Because of a near death experience with some if the villagers, Naruto discovered Kyuubi at a young age and began training under him. Later, he is known as Kitsune, the merciless fox child of the anbu. Now, he is about to face the biggest challenge of his life: becoming a genin on a team with a brooding avenger, a pink haired banshee and a lazy pervert who's always late. How will he survive and will he be able to keep his mask up and his secret safe?**

~~~(*o*)~~~

_Recap:_

_While the girls were arguing about who got to sit next to Sasuke, Naruto climbed onto Sasuke's desk and stared at him. Ignoring Sakura and company's protest for him to stop glaring at their precious 'Sasuke-kun', Naruto continued glaring, with Sasuke glaring back there was no way he was going to back down now. It's be a total loss to his pride. So he kept staring. And staring. And staring… Suddenly he felt something knock into him from behind causing him to fall forward. He felt his lips connect with something…and suddenly his eyes widened to saucers, as did Sasuke's._

_He just kissed Sasuke Uchiha._

_He just KISSED Sasuke Uchiha._

_He could already feel the glares…_

_Holy FUCK._

_He was SO dead._

~~~(*o*)~~~

Chapter Three:

Welcome to Team 7

~~~(*o*)~~~

When Sakura, Ino, and the others had gone to attack Naruto, he had a slight slip up. When they went to attack him he had flashed back to the when the villagers used to attack him, and for a spilt second Sakura could have sworn she had seen some unknown emotions in his eyes, but they disappeared as fast as they had appeared. Naruto had remembered. He had remembered the pain, and the suffering. The terror of constantly being on alert, and always having to try and travel in the shadows in a desperate attempt to avoid being seen. Being forced to walk through the streets where there were no back alleys, feeling the constant glares on his back. Hearing the mutterings, and curses, and endless shouts of demon, hell's spawn, monster, fox demon, beast, demon brat, and varied other cruel names. Feeling the people spit on him, and throw rocks as well as kunai, shuriken, and other objects at him as he passed by. Smelling blood where ever he went, all day and night. He was constantly being covered in it, just like his apartment was. Tasting blood In his mouth constantly—the only other thing he ever tasted being rotten, old, and spoiling food that no one else would buy. Seeing the hateful, disgusted, horrified, annoyed, and blood thirsty and revenge driven looks, all directed at him. It was horrible. It was terrifying. It was terrible. It was HIM—and he couldn't stand it.

_Flashback:_

_Naruto saw someone's shadow approaching, and ducked for cover inside the mountain of boxes. He watched the shadow pass by fearfully before leaving the safety the box promised him. Continuing his way to his apartment, he began running along the back alleys behind the buildings. He ran left, right, left, left, right, left, right, right, right, left, left, right, left, right. Dead end. He searched desperately for another path—but he was out of luck. Sighing, he turned in the direction of the only exit. The street. He'd have to go in the street, Taking a deep breath, knowing there was no choice to make in the matter, as there was nowhere else he could go, he walked cautiously up to the opening. Looking both ways, he sighed at the sight of no people and began walking in the open street. As he continued walking, he realized there had been no alleyways at all. The only few he had found were all immediate dead ends. Continuing down the streets he began to see people—and then it started. The whispering. It quickly rose to mutterings, and eventually yells of demon and monster. Walking faster, he could feel, as well as see, the looks the villagers were giving him. The glares, the disgust, the fear, the bloodthirsty and revenge driven looks, all directed at him. He could feel some brave men throwing rocks at him. No. They weren't brave. They were cowards. All of them, every last one. They threw kunai, and shuriken, and other various objects—but he didn't care, or at least he acted like he didn't. It bothered him a lot, actually, but he knew that if he were to fight back or do anything at all really, they'd all jump him. The streets were too crowded right now. Maybe if there were less people he could try to get away, but it would have had to have been only a few people, like five or three. They were in the twenty's right now, so there would be no escape. Suddenly someone through a kunai the landing in his back with enough pressure that it knocked him down. His vision started fading as he heard shouting. He tasted something that strangely resembled an iron-y taste. He knew what it was but he just wanted to be sure. He took a whif of the air around him and was met with a smell he knew to well—blood. Just then, his vision blurred and his body finally gave out. He was knocked unconscious, only to wake up later in the hospital with some of the few nurses that felt for him, and the __Sandaime Hokage._

_End Flashback._

Naruto had quickly suppressed his feelings, like he usually did, but he was sure that Sakura had seen his hesitation; however, both genin-to-be's continued, deciding to ignore it, or at least put it aside for now.

When the girls pummeled Naruto, Naruto had to talk the Kyuubi into not healing him, because it would cause suspicion. The Kyuubi, however, had managed to talk Naruto into at least allowing him to numb him—which Naruto agreed to. Once the pummeling was done, Naruto humbly agreed to sitting one seat away from Sasuke, that way Sakura got what she wanted, while Naruto was still close enough to Sasuke to hopefully irritate him. Though, he didn't really need to, as he knew Sakura annoyed him way more than he ever could. (Cue Naruto and Kyuubi laughing evilly together with a quivering Sasuke and annoying bitchy-whiny Sakura in the background)

Breaking out of his trance, Naruto realized Iruka had begun speaking.

"..of the shinobi, you are mere novices, lowest of the low. Your greatest…"

'_Novices? Lowest of the low? Well, that's kind of mean…'_

"_**It's true."**_

'_Well, yeah, but none the less, it's still mean…'_

"…on behalf of our village. We will began by dividing you into three-man cells. Each of you will be mentored by a jounin, a more senior ninja…who will guide and coach you as you become familiar with you various assignments…"

'_Three man cells? Jounin? Mentored? I don't know why but I have a feeling I should remember that... Like, maybe—I don't know—like it'll come in hand later on…'_

"_**A feeling?"**_

'_Yes, now shut up.'_

"_**SHUT UP? I am the-"**_

'_Alright, alright, fine. I'm sorry. Happy?'_

"…_**Yes."**_

'_Ugh…'_

"…I made the selections so that each cell's abilities would be approximately equal-"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?"

'_Well… THAT. Hurt my ears. My poor, poor, oversensitive ears…'_

"_**It's not my fault your ears are oversensitive."**_

'…'

"…"

'…'

"…_**Okay, so maybe I **_**did**_** influence you senses a **_**little**_**-"**_

'_KYUU!'_

"_**Okay, fine, I influenced your senses a lot—but you'll be thanking me soon when you see how useful it is!"**_

'_Yeah, yeah, I know. It's ready useful. Thanks Kyuu.'_

"_**No prob, kit."**_

'_Oh, he started naming the teams…I should probably start listening now…'_

"_**Yeah, you should."**_

"Team 4: Phu, Buu, and Kurokami"

Some cheers were heard in the back from three girls who just so happened to be great friends. (they're some of my oc's, though I'm not sure yet if they're gunna be important or what) Phu wore a white beanie cap with two black buns coming out of hole in the cap, white bangs in the front, longer on each side, framing her face. He eyes were midnight black and she had slight bags under her eyes, but she was still cute. She wore a black and white striped scarf and a white shirt, with one long sleeve and one short. The long sleeve had black and white stripes, like the scarf. She also had black and white striped gloves and black shinobi pants with an extra pocket each on the side around the knee area (like cargo pants). It was taped around the ankles so it wouldn't get in the way, and she had black shinobi sandals. Her forehead protector was on her beanie.

Buu was about the same, except there were no bags under her eyes and she had wavy hair. Her outfit was also the same except instead of black she had red (the buns, too). Other than that, her and her twin sister Phu were identical. Kurokami wore bandages/tape all over her body covering everything except her nose and mouth, and wore a sweet smile. She had her forehead protector on her head with a black piece of cloth instead of the usual blue one. She had a plain black t-shirt that was loose on her, but showed he tummy (though it didn't matter because it was covered in bandages/tape anyway) and had tight black shorts. She also had a necklace with two large purple beads and two white ones that look like claws or bananas in the order: purple, white, purple, white, purple. It was on a short white string/wire. (like inuyasha or madarao)

Buu was naturally a ball of sunshine, and her twin sister Phu was like an angel of darkness. Her and her twin sister were like yin and yang. Kurokami was sweet, and she protected her friends, and was the stongest Kunoichi. But, if you got any of the three angry, you were in for hell.

"Team 5: Aki, Tenki, and Toushou."

Three more cheers.

"Team 6: Houshou, Seiryuu, Byakko."

Another three cheers.

"Team 7: Sasuke…"

'_I'll bet right about now all the girls who didn't already get teams, are praying that they'll get on Sasuke's team.'_

"_**Of course, what would they ever do if their 'precious' 'Sasuke-kun' wasn't on their team?"**_

'_Ooh! Ooh! I'm gunna go see if anyone's actually praying!'_

Naruto turned around to see if any girl were praying, and sure enough, they were. He even thinks he saw Sasuke praying, too.

'_Hey, I'll bet Sasuke's praying he doesn't get me and Sakura on his team!'_

"_**Heh. I wouldn't be surprised. You're supposedly the 'Dead last' and are constantly trying—and successing—to irritate him; while Sakura is probably the most obsessed fan-girl in the entire graduating class."**_

Naruto laughed mentally. _'I completely agree!'_ Kyuubi laughed, too.

"…Sakura…"

'_Oh GOD, NO. Uchiha's DEAD. She's gunna kill him. He'll die from her obsessiveness! And I wanted him on my team… He's the stongest in the entire graduating class and THE MOST fun person to annoy. But no way in HELL do I wanna be on Sakura's team! I'm not even happy she's gunna be annoying him to death! Why? WHY? WHY, YOU ASK? Because he'll DIE! And yes, I DO mean DIIEEEEE-'_

"_**KIT, FOR KAMI'S SAKE; CALM DOOOOOOWWNN!**_

'…_Sorry…'_

"…and Naruto…"

'…'

"…"

'…'

"…"

'…_I'm dead…'_

"_**..SOOO dead…"**_

"…You're jounin instructor will be…"

'_I hope at least our jounin-sensei isn't an idiot. I also hope he won't single me out 'cause of you, Kyuu, but who knows?'_

"…_**I know."**_

'_WHAT? Tell me!'_

"_**I don't know."**_

'…_fuck you…'_

"…Kakashi Hatake…"

'_Hatake? The copy-cat nin? Not bad…'_

"_**Yes, but I heard he's failed every team he got."**_

'_WHAT? Every team? You've gotta be- WAIT. How exactly did you 'hear' this, without me knowing me?'_

"…"

'…'

"…"

'…'

"…"

'…'

"…"

'…'

"…_**I have my ways…"**_

'_O-kaaaAAAaaaayy…Moving on.'_

"_**..Yeah."**_

~~~(*o*)~~~

"Where is our sensei?"

'Kami, I wish she'd shut up…'

I got up from my seat by Sasuke, and I walked over to the door to see if our sensei's here yet. When I got there I looked both ways, and nothing. Suddenly I got an idea. I went over to the chalk board, ignoring Sakura's protests behind me. Once there, I got a chalk board eraser and a chair. Taking both to the door, I used my 'expert experience', to enhance the chalk with chakra, before putting it between the doors, at the very top. Sakura continued yelling at me, but honestly, I JUST DON'T GIVE A DAMN. So, I continued ignoring her as I went to my seat and sat down—next to 'my dear Sasuke-kun' of course—and began my wait…

~~~(*o*)~~~

After another hour of waiting, our sensei finally arrived—that bastard—and said:

"Hmm… How shall I put this?"

Here it comes…

"My first impression of you is… I HATE YOU."

*Cue three genins falling over*

Greeeeeeeeeeeaaaaat…. Just how long did we have to spend with this guy again?

"_**AND THE FUN BEGINS!~"**_

'_Shut it, Kyuu…'_

~~~(*o*)~~~

Chapter three, END!

What'd ya think? Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikke iiiiiiiittt?

Please review, favorite, and alert and all that crap!

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KYUU-SAMA LOVES YOU!

Thank you to those who reviewed:

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TILL NEXT TIME! THANK YOU AND JA NE!


	4. Removing the Mask

**Hellooooooooooooo!**

**WELCOME to CHAPTER THREE of "The Merciless Fox Child" By Century Viscount!**

**Yup, I'm back and better than ever!**

…**Not really.**

**But anyway, thank you all that favorited, added me to their auther/story alerts, and reviewed! :D**

**On another note, I like Sakura better as a guy—and NO I am NOT going to turn her into a guy, if any of you thought that—but, really! Look!**

**http : / farm4. static. flickr. com / 3503 / 3186020569_c0570bedeb . jpg**

**(Just remove the spaces!)**

**Aaaaaaanywaaaay…**

**Here is the next chapter, and I hope you enjoy!**

~~~(*o*)~~~

**Description: Because of a near death experience with some if the villagers, Naruto discovered Kyuubi at a young age and began training under him. Later, he is known as Kitsune, the merciless fox child of the anbu. Now, he is about to face the biggest challenge of his life: becoming a genin on a team with a brooding avenger, a pink haired banshee and a lazy pervert who's always late. How will he survive and will he be able to keep his mask up and his secret safe?**

~~~(*o*)~~~

_Recap:_

_After another hour of waiting, our sensei finally arrived—that bastard—and said:_

_"Hmm… How shall I put this?"_

_Here it comes…_

_"My first impression of you is… I HATE YOU."_

_*Cue three genins falling over*_

_Greeeeeeeeeeeaaaaat…. Just how long did we have to spend with this guy again?_

_"AND THE FUN BEGINS!~"_

_'Shut it, Kyuu…'_

~~~(*o*)~~~

Chapter Four:

Removing the Mask

~~~(*o*)~~~

"SENSEI!"

'_Ah… My poor, poor ears…"_

"_**Heh, Kit."**_

'_Mm…? What, Kyuu?'_

"_**Remember when I enhanced your senses?"**_

'_How could I not? I had a headache for a week—at least! I saw some things, I seriously regret seeing, and I smelt some things, I wish I never had. And-'_

"_**ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! Just go into flashback mode…"**_

_Flashback:_

_Naruto was jumping from rooftop to rooftop, giggling all the way._

"_**Err… Kit? You alright?"**_

"_Yeah, I'm fi—RUN!"_

"_**W-wha-?"**_

_Naruto began running faster as about a thousand Narutos came into view. All headed diredctly for him. Directly for Naruto. Narutos._

"_**THIS game again?"**_

"_Yes, THIS game. It's good for building up cha-"_

_Naruto was suddenly tackled by about one thousand Narutos._

"_**Ugh… But NOT when their chasing you, and you've been running for seven and a half hours while they've been taking turns and breaks to rest. I wouldn't be surprised if there were actually four thousand clones…"**_

"…"

"…_**Naruto."**_

"…"

_Kyuubi sighed. "__**You made four thousand clones didn't you?"**_

_Naruto nodded._

_Kyuubi sighed again. __**"Well, don't blame me when-"**_

POOOF.

_Kyuubi sighed—AGAIN. "__**When they all disperse and their combined exghastion makes you way too tired to travel on the roofs. You're lucky you don't die from chakra drain."**_

"_Well, I'll just walk."_

_Naruto walking though the village, soon realized that this wasn't such a good idea. He was SURE he could hear footsteps behind him—but he wasn't exactly sure. His hearing simply wasn't good enough._

"_**Hey, Kit."**_

'_What?'_

"_**Go home."**_

'_Wha-?'_

"_**NOW…"**_

'_O-kaayy…'_

_Naruto quickly dove into an alley, and before anyone could come after him—he shunshined to his apartment. There, he collapsed unceremoniously, onto his butt, panting heavily._

"_I…am…so…TIRED!"_

**QUICK AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**IF YOU NOTICED, AT THE BEGINNING OF THE FLASHBACK, NARUTO WAS TALKING TO THE KYUUBI OUTLOUD. LATER, IN THE STREETS, HE WAS TALKING TO KYUU MENTALLY AGAIN, LIKE HE USUALLY DOES. NOW, HE'S TALKING ALOUD AGAIN. THE REASON FOR THIS IS BECAUSE HE TRIES TO ONLY TO KYUU-SAMA OUTLOUD WHEN HE'S ALONE, YOU KNOW AS WELL AS HE/I DO, THE MANY DIFFERENT THINGS THAT COULD HAPPEN IF A VILLAGER/TRAVELLER/SHINOBI/KUNOICHI/CLASSMATE/CHILD HEARD HIM.**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE—END!**

"_**No shit, Sherlock."**_

"_Just…shut it…Kyuu…before…I kick… your ass-"_

"_**Language, language, kit. Have you forgotten how old you are? You're too young to be using such crude language. Now, where on Earth did you learn those words?" *insert (sarcastically) surprised gasp* "It wasn't the villagers was it? They were being mean to you, weren't they!" Kyuu said sarcastically.**_

"_No shit, Sherlock."_

"_**Haha. Very funny."**_

"_I know, right?"_

"_**ANYWAY…"**_

"_Oh right, why'd you make me rush here."_

"_**I was getting to tha-"**_

"_Was there really a guy following me? Was he dangerous—like REAL dangerous? Was he a jounin? High Chuunin? No,no , I would have been able to handle that. Akats-"_

"_**KIT!"**_

"_..right. Sorry…"_

"_**Ahem. As I was saying before I was so RUDELY interrupted-"**_

"_Kit, you do know that I'm the only…one…here?"_

"…"

"_Sorry."_

"_**Right, anyways, the reason I brought you here is very important. Let me play with your senses."**_

"…"

"…"

"_WHAT?"_

"_**Er—well—what I mean is—ARGH! Kit, that's exactly the problem! You need me to enhance your senses so that you will easily be able to hear and all that shit, if someone is followi-"**_

"_HELL, NO!"_

"_**Just shut up and let me do my work!"**_

"_Wha—NO—"_

_Everything went black for Naruto, and for a few moments everything was calm—save for Naruto silently plotting ways to make Kyuu-sama suffer. Then, he entered a whole new world of pain._

_End Flashback_

'_Well… That was fun.'_

"_**Yes, yes it was."**_

'…'

"…"

'…_Should I be listening to Scarecrow-san?'_

"_**Yes, yes you should."**_

'_Alright….'_

"-were THREE HOURS late! I can't BELIEVE you made your own genin team wait that long! And on their first meeting, too! I'll have you know-"

'…_Erm…Kyuu?'_

"_**Yes, Kit?"**_

'_Can I tune out a little longer? And, maybe… You tell me when she's done?'_

"…"

'…_*_mental puppy eyes_*…'_

"…"

'_Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaseee….'_

"…"

'…_pretty please with a cherry on top?'_

"…"

'…_and meat?'_

"…"

'…_and blood?'_

"…"

'…_and… fish?'_

"…"

'…_umm…Who even invented "pretty please w/ a cherry on top", anyway?'_

"…_**me."**_

'_REALLY?'_

"…_**yes."**_

'_THAT IS SOOO AWESOME, KYUU! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY INVENTED THAT, I MEAN THOUSANDS-'_

"_**...I lied."**_

'_-OF PEOPLE, E-VER-E-DAY, SAY IT AAAALLLLLLLL. THE. TIME! I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, KYUU, DO YOU-'_

"_**I. LIIIEEEED…"**_

'_-KNOW HOW POPULAR THAT SAYING IS-'_

"_**KIIIIIIIIIIIIITTT!"**_

'_Umm… Yes?'_

"_**I lied."**_

'…'

"…"

'…_fuck you.'_

"…"

'_What did I want you to do again?'_

"_**I don't know, something abou-"**_

"NARUTOOO!"

"AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! THE FUCK SAKURA, YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME!"

"Uh…"

Naruto finally took the time to look around, and realized that Sakura, Kakashi, hell even SASUKE was staring at him. Sensing the awkwardness at his outburst, Naruto laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head—a real habit, and not just part of his mask—and said;

"Eh… What'd I miss?"

'_**Smooth. Reeaall smooth…"**_

'_Shut it or no rabbit chasing for a month."_

"…_**okay. Sorry."**_

Naruto internally smirked. Now, getting back to reality before he created ANOTHER, even MORE awkward moment, Naruto snapped out of his thoughts just in time to hear Kakashi say-

"Meet me on the roof. In five minutes."

And in a poof he was gone. No, literally. He actually 'poofed' away. With a little cloud and leaves and everything. Reminds him of a book he read—or was it a show? What was it called, Manuko? Naruko? Nanuto? Naru-

"_**Spacing out again."**_

'_Ah, right. Heh, hehe.'_

"…"

'…_I should go…'_

"_**GO! ENOUGH OF THE AWKWARD SILENCES ALREADY!"**_

'_SORRY!'_

Breaking out of his thoughts, Naruto immediately made a run towards the stairs, and quickly caught up with Sakura and Sasuke. Once caught up, he followed silently behind them up to the roof. Sakura fawning over Sasuke as usual and Sasuke was brooding—of course. I mean, what better way is there to spend your time, than wasting life away through some form of constant eternally sulking and grump-i-tude. Kyuubi laughed. Kakashi was doing the—or should I say _his_—usual: reading porn in public. No shame. Naruto had to admit, he admired his boldness—at least he wasn't some creepy closet porn addict who spend his nights staring intently at a computer screen while masturba-

"_**Okay, now you're starting to creep me out. ME. Me!"**_

'_Yes, yes, you. The great and all powerful: Kyuubi no Kitsune. Or, as I like to call you, Kyuu-nii-chan!'_

"…_**bitch."**_

'_Yes, yes—I know. Thank you.' Naruto mentally winked, and Kyuubi shivered. Sometimes, Naruto creeped even him out. The kid REALLY loved messing with people…_

Once they were all seated across from Kakashi, he did what Naruto assumed to be a smile, considering all he could see were the wrinkles that formed when smiling, and his odd "U" shaped eye.

"Now, I'd like you all to tell us a little about yourselves."

"Like what, sensei?" asked Sakura.

Kakashi eye smiled. "Oh, you know, the usual. Your favorite thing…What you hate most. Dreams, ambitions, hobbies. Things like that."

"Help us out here, teacher. You go first, show us how it's done. After all, you're a complete stranger to us…a mystery."

'_Her stupidity drives even me insane.'_

"_**I hear ya, I hear ya…"**_

"Oh…me? My name is Hatake Kakashi. I'm the kind of person who doesn't like talking about his likes and dislikes! My dreams for the future are none of your business… But anyway, I have lots of hobbies."

"Hey…" said Sakura, leaning over, "He said a lot…" Here, her eyebrow twitched. Scary. "…But all we really learned was his name."

'_Fool… He actually revealed a lot.'_

"Your turn, starting with you on the right."

"I'm Sakura Haruno. What I like—uh… I mean the person I like is—" Insert weird noises. "Uh… My hobby is uh…" More weird noises—that suspiciously sound like a combination of moans and laughter. "My dream for the future is—" Screeching and blushing this time.

"And? What do you hate?" Kakashi obviously didn't exactly enjoy her—err—_fawning_ over Sasuke. I can easily agree with him.

"_**Me, too."**_

"NARUTO!"

Naruto was surprisingly unfazed, confusing Sakura.

"Next."

"My name… is Sasuke Uchiha. I hate a lot of things, and I don't particularly _like_ anything." It seemed like Sakura was slightly upset by this, probably expecting him to say he liked her or something. "What I have is not a dream, because I WILL make it a reality. I'm going to restore my clan, and destroy… a certain, someone..."

Everyone was quiet after the last word left his lips. They sat in dreadful, uncomfortable silence—that is, until…

"What about your hobbies?"

Everyone stared at Naruto. Sasuke twitched.

"What? He forgot to say his hobbies?"

"Naruto, you baka!"

Sakura went to hit Naruto but Naruto caught her fist with ease. "I suggest you do not do that, Haruno-san."

Sakura froze. "Wh-wha?"

"Just kidding!" Naruto said, and began laughing. Nut it was not his normal stupid idiotic laugh, this one was full of pure mischief, and even a little coldness.

"R-right." Sakura said, and sat down.

"Alright, last one."

"Naruto Uzumaki's the name, and messing with people is my game. I figured I might as well tell you 'cause you're gunna be on my team and all, and it might be important to know. I like Hokage-jiji, Iruka-sensei, and Kyuu-nii."

'_Kyuu? I wonder who that is…' _thought Kakashi.

"I dislike power hungry bastards, people who abandon their friends, people who can't tell the difference between the prisoner and the container, the sealed and the scroll, fangirls, fakes, masks, and other stuff."

"My hobbies include training, pranks, practicing sealing/seals, hanging out with Hokage-jiji, Iruka-sensei, and of course Kyuu—but what I enjoy most would probably be messing with people. And Kyuu-nii," Naruto added as am after thought.

"_**Aww… That was sweet, Kit."**_

'_Yeah, yeah.' _Naruto replied, _'but it was true.'_

"_**I love you, my little Kit."**_

'_Love you, too, Kyuu-nii.'_

~~~(*o*)~~~

Chapter four, END!

What'd ya think? Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikke iiiiiiiittt?

Please review, favorite, and alert and all that crap!

THANK YOU!

KYUU-SAMA LOVES YOU!

In this chapter I kinda showed how close Naru and Kyuu are (like brothers) and shit. Sorry if not much happened, but… YEAH. Next chapter. Maybe. :3

Next Chapter will be the bell test! ENJOY!

NEXT CHAPTER:

TEAMWORK

Thank you to those who reviewed:

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ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU!

JA-NE!


	5. Bells, Foxes, and NameCalling

**Welcome Peoples to Chapter 5!**

**Why do people say 'peoples'?**

**Uh…**

**Anyway.**

**I'm sorry for the long wait, had A LOT of work to catch up on.**

**That I was supposed to do a long time ago…  
>Anyway, not important.<strong>

**What IS important is that the chapter is about to begin!**

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO.**

**~~~(*o*)~~~**

**Description: Because of a near death experience with some if the villagers, Naruto discovered Kyuubi at a young age and began training under him. Later, he is known as Kitsune, the merciless fox child of the anbu. Now, he is about to face the biggest challenge of his life: becoming a genin on a team with a brooding avenger, a pink haired banshee and a lazy pervert who's always late. How will he survive and will he be able to keep his mask up and his secret safe?**

~~~(*o*)~~~

_Recap:_

_Sakura went to hit Naruto but Naruto caught her fist with ease. "I suggest you do not do that, Haruno-san."_

_Sakura froze. "Wh-wha?"_

_"Just kidding!" Naruto said, and began laughing. Nut it was not his normal stupid idiotic laugh, this one was full of pure mischief, and even a little coldness._

_"R-right." Sakura said, and sat down._

_"Alright, last one."_

_"Naruto Uzumaki's the name, and messing with people is my game. I figured I might as well tell you 'cause you're gunna be on my team and all, and it might be important to know. I like Hokage-jiji, Iruka-sensei, and Kyuu-nii."_

_'Kyuu? I wonder who that is…' thought Kakashi._

_"I dislike power hungry bastards, people who abandon their friends, people who can't tell the difference between the prisoner and the container, the sealed and the scroll, fangirls, fakes, masks, and other stuff."_

_"My hobbies include training, pranks, practicing sealing/seals, hanging out with Hokage-jiji, Iruka-sensei, and of course Kyuu—but what I enjoy most would probably be messing with people. And Kyuu-nii," Naruto added as am after thought._

_**"Aww… That was sweet, Kit."**_

_'Yeah, yeah.' Naruto replied, 'but it was true.'_

_**"I love you, my little Kit."**_

_'Love you, too, Kyuu-nii.'_

~~~(*o*)~~~

Chapter Five:

Bells, Foxes, and Name-Calling

~~~(*o*)~~~

"And your dreams?" Asked Kakashi.

"Huh?"

"Dreams, ambitions… Do you have any? You must have at least one."

"A dream, eh…" Naruto got into a thinking pose.

'_DO I have any dreams, Kyuu?'_

"_**Hmm…"**_

'_Oh! I know!'_

"Ahem." Naruto cleared his throat.

He cleared it again.

And again.

Cleared it some more.

"NARUTO!"

"Yes, Sakur-"

Naruto coughed.

Sakura twitched.

Sasuke twitched.

Kakashi sweat dropped.

"Naruto, would you mind telling us your dream now?" asked Kakashi.

"Actually, yes, I do mind."

"Oh?"

"_**Go get 'em, Kit."**_

Naruto smirked. "Mr. Hatake Kakashi, copy-cat nin of Konoha and the last surviving member of the yodaime hokage, Namikaze Minato's very own genin team. If I remember correctly _you_ said that _your_ dreams are none of _our_ business. So, on what grounds, do you believe that _you_ have any right to know what _my_ dreams are."

"…" (Sakura)

"…" (Sasuke)

"…" (Kakashi)

"_**Nice job, Kit. You got all three of 'em."**_

Kyuubi was right. Sakura's mouth had dropped,even Sasuke's mouth dropped. And Kakashi's mouith definitely would be hanging open rigtht now if it hadn't been for his mask.

"_Hey, maybe I should get one of those."_

"_**Those what, kit?"**_

"Those masks! They're awesome!"

"_**Yes, they are. Want to go out and buy one sometime later, today?"**_

"Yeah, sure, that'd be great."

"What'd be great, Naruto?"

"Sakura? What the hell's she talking about? It's as if she can… hear… me? I talking out loud, aren't I?

Three nods.

Naruto sighed. "Why didn't Kyuu tell me? Damn fox…"

"Fuck you, how would I know, I can hear you talking and your thoughts, so I can't tell the difference! …Oh, and you're talking out loud I think, guessing from their faces.

"What? I am?

"Dobe…" (That was Sasu)

"Naruto, who were you talking to?" (Kaka)

'_Think, Naruto, think!'_

"_**THINK! THINK!"**_

"My summon!"

'…'

"…"

'…'

"_**Oh, so I'm summon, now?"**_

'_It was a good excuse! Think about it... If they ask to meet you, I'll let you out and pretend I'm summoning you. I DO have the fox contract, after all!'_

"_**True, true. Touché."**_

"You have a summon, Naruto?" (KAKa)

"The dobe? As if." (sasu)

"Yeah! No way can Naruto have a summon and not Sasuke-kun!" (saku)

"I do, too!"

"Naruto… If he was your summon, then how were you talking to him."

Sakura made a surprised noise. "That's right!"

"Be-CAUSE, we have some sort of telepathic connection. I think he did some jutsu or something on us…"

"Oh? Well, maybe we could meet him tomorrow, or later."

"_**Kit…"**_

"Alright."

"It's settled then. Anyway, let's meet tomorrow at training ground seven for… _survival training._"

"But, sensei-"

"Yes, yes, he KNOWS that already, Sakura."

Sakura pouted, but shut up.

(Here he explains about meeting tomoro and 33.3% and throwing up and all that before poofing away)

"Don't listen to him. Eat. He's just tricking you."

"Hn…" (saku)

"Hmpth. Dobe. Sensei said not to eat, so you better not eat."

"Yeah, that's right!"

"Fine, go ahead, starve for all I care!"

Naruto was about to leave when… "Hey, dobe. How'd you ge—" Naruto jumped off the side of the building.

'—_t a summon…'_ (Sasuke)

Sasuke's question will never be answered…

~~~(*o*)~~~

Time Skip to the Next Day

~~~(*o*)~~~

"NA. RU. TOOO… You're late!" Sakura bitched.

Naruto mentally sighed. He knew this was coming.

"What's up dobe? Why are you so late."

"Be-CAUSE, _dobe,_ our sensei was obviously going to be late, so I slept late and had a large breakfast."

Sasuke stuttered, "D-dobe!"

"Yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that."

"Dobe!"

"I know you are, but what am I?"

"Dobe!"

"I know you are, you don't have to keep telling me."

"Hn!"

"I know, I know, I feel ya."

"Hn…"

"What? No way!"

"Hn."

"I never would have thought…"

Sakura, if course, was looking back and force between the two as they 'talked', obviously being very confused, and wondering not only what the hell they were talking about, but how Naruto could understand him!

"_**You can't understand him at all, can you?"**_

'_Nope. But they don't need to know that…'_

"_**Heh. That's what I love about you."**_

"Hnn…"

Naruto stuttered, "W-wh-WHAT?" Naruto looked like he was panicking, "NO! No, you CANNOT do that! What the hell gave you the idea that you could!"

Kakashi watched in interest having only appeared a few seconds ago. "So… you can understand him? How?"

Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura (you didn't forget about her, did you?) turned to look at Kakashi. Sakura would have yelled at him, but this was MUCH more important.

All eyes were on Naruto, patiently (or not so patiently) awaiting his reply. Naruto then looked Kakashi dead in the eye. His face shifted into a serious one as the atmosphere suddenly was very tense. Naruto looked down for a moment, as if loosing confidence or courage, He then looked up again, his eyes burned (not literally) with determination as he turned to look Kakashi strait in the eyes.

Everyone tensed as Naruto's lips began to move; the next few words would be deeply engraved into the memories of those who heard it.

"I don't." Naruto deadpanned.

Sakura twitched.

Kakashi sighed.

Sasuke 'Hn'ed.

Sakura yelled at Naruto.

Naruto cowered in false/pretend fear.

Sasuke 'Hn'ed. Again. For some unknown reason.

"Ano… Let's get back to reason why we're here in the first place, ne?"

(I'm skipping the explaining and all that because, honestly, I hate having to read this in almost every fan fiction. It gets annoying.)

Naruto hung from the tree as Kakashi walked over and picked up the bell. He sighed. Then Naruto smirked…

"Naruto? What are you smirking about?"

"Heh, heh…" Naruto began laughing maniacally.

"Naruto…?"

"Heh heh, tricked ya, sensei!"

"Wha—?"

Naruto burst into confetti.

"So, he was fake, eh?"

(Scene change…)

"—got it?"

"Tch, dobe. Are you sure this'll work."

"Yeah!"

"Don't worry, don't worry! I told you, it's fool proof!"

Sakura sighed. "If you say so…"

"Let's go."

(Another scene change…)

Kakashi sighed. Where WERE they?

Suddenly some kunai were thrown at him, and then some shuriken. 'There he is…'

Kakashi easily avoided and Sasuke jumped out of the tree's forming hand signs.

"Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu!"

Kakashi was engulfed in flames when he turned into a burnt log and reappeared a few yards away, when Sakura suddenly came out of the forest and ran at him for his bells. He quickly and carefully sidestepped her, as well as tripped her.

Then he heard a jingle. Everyone looked towards the source of the noise to see an orange fox and a yellow fox, the orange about three feet tall with red slitted eyes, and carrying a bell in its mouth, and the yellow about two feet tall with blue slitted eyes and bell in its mouth as well.

Kakashi was shocked to say the least; as was Sasuke and Sakura. They had been told by Naruto, that Sasuke would attack Kakashi, while Sakura tried to get the bells to distract him, and then Naruto would come in to get the bells. But where was Naruto? And why did these foxes have the bells?

Suddenly, the yellow fox turned into Naruto with a bell in his mouth, who did a peace sign.

"N-Naruto!" (saku)

"Yo."

"Hmm…" (Kaka) "It seems Naruto the bells. Who are you giving the other bell to?"

Realization suddenly dawned on them. What was Naruto to do?

Sakura was heartbroken (or as heartbroken as an obsessive fan girl could be), no way Naruto going to give both her and Sasuke the bells, which meant they couldn't be together. But Sakura didn't want to go back to the academy… She'd rather get the bell than stay with Sasuke, to be honest. That surprised her a lot btw. But… she was always so mean to Naruto… No way was he gunna pick her.

Sasuke on the other hand was devastated. It was obvious the dobe would choose Sakura, his crush. He and Sasuke hate eachother—he had no chance. How the hell was he supposed to defeat his brother at this rate? He didn't have time to go back to the academy, damn it!

What Naruto did next surprised everyone, even Kyuu.

Naruto tossed Sakura and Sasuke each a bell.

"Here, you guys can have the bells. Sasuke, you deserve to graduate more than me and we both know it. Sakura, you as well. Even if you aren't that strong, you're really smart and I bet you'd make a terrific medic-nin. Besides, I wouldn't want to separate you from the Uchiha. I don't mind having to go back, really, I mean I'm in no rush."

It was obvious to everyone he was lying. He DEFINETLEY wanted to graduate, and he DEFINITELY wasn't okay with it. So why was he doing it?

Sasuke tossed him back the bell. "No, dobe, you can have it. I don't need to graduate to defeat my brother. As long as I get stronger it doesn't matter. I could just get a private tutor or something."

"Wha-?"

"No." Sakura interrupted. "Take mine." Sakura walked over and took Sasuke's bell, replacing it with hers and tossing Sasuke back his bell, which he caught. "I didn't even do anything. You made the plan. You got the bells. Sasuke almost got Kakashi. You have a summon. Sasuke can do cool jutsus. Compared to you two, I nothing…"

"But, Saku-"

"Ahem." Kakashi interrupted. "I have an announcement."

"**S-so touching…" **Kyuubi said, with a paw covering his eyes.

"K-kyuu?"

"I-it talked!" (SAku)

"That's your summon?" (sasu)

"As I was saying, (kaka) YOU ALL PASS!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAATT?"

(Kakashi gives his emotional speech and all that, blah blah blah)

"Sooo… That's your summon, Naruto?" (kaka)

"Yup! His name's Kyuu! Or at least that's what I call him…"

"He's so cute!" Sakura reached over to pet him.

"**I AM NOT CUTE, HUMAN, AND DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME! I AM THE GREAT KYUU0-SAMA AND THAT IS HOW YOU SHALL REFER TO ME, DO YOU UNDERSTAND FILTHY MORTAL!"**

"…"

"Erm…he does that…"

"Is he always like that?" (sasu)

"Most of the time…"

"Oh…" (saku)

"You seemed to like him a lot Naruto. Are you two close?" (kaka)

"Yup! I've known him since I was, like, three!"

"Really?" (saku)

"Yup! He's like my older brother!"

"**Aww… That's sweet."**

"Isn't it?"

"**Hey, kit, don't you have to meet with the old man?"**

"Huh?"

"…"

"Oh, right! Ojiji!"

"**Uh-huh."**

"…"

"…"

"…"

Kyuubi sighed**. "What, kit?" **

"…why did I have to meet with him again?"

Throughout the whole conversation, Kakashi, Sakura, and Sasuke just stood there listening not knowing what exactly to do.

"**A mission."**

"What mission?"

"**That's why you have to meet with him, idiot."**

"Oh…"

"**Yeah, 'oh'."**

"You don't have to be so mean."

"**Yes, yes I do."**

**~~~(*o*)~~~**

**~~~(^o^)~~~ ~~~(*o*)~~~ ~~~(^o*)~~~ ~~~(*o^)~~~ ~~~(*o*)~~~ ~~~(^o^)~~~ ~~~(^o*)~~~**

**(AN: WARNING. THE NEXT PART CONTAINS WORDS AND SUCH THAT ARE 18 AND UP ONLY. IF YOU ARE YOUNGER, I SUGGEST SKIPPING UNTIL YOU SEE THE NEXT AUTHORS NOTE. THANKYOU.)**

**~~~(*o^)~~~ ~~~(*o*)~~~ ~~~(^o^)~~~ ~~~(*o*)~~~ ~~~(^o*)~~~ ~~~(*o^)~~~ ~~~(*o*)~~~ ~~~(^o^)~~~**

"Stupid fox."

"**Stupid human."**

"Idiot."

"**Baka."**

"Moron."

"**Knucklehead."**

"Demon."

"**Stupid."**

"Ugly."

"**Asshole."**

"Bastard."

"**Loser."**

"Nerd."

"**Bitch."**

"Fucker."

"**Knob Jockey."**

"Wanker."

"**Pompus jerk."**

"Flaming sack of rats poo."

"**You think you're a wit, and you're probably half right."**

"Why don't you go blow your brains out, you've got nothing to lose."

"**You know what? Someday you'll go far, and I hope you stay there."**

"You look like a professional blind date."

"**I wish I had a lower I.Q., so that I could enjoy your company."**

"Thank you; we're all challenged by your unique point of view."

"**Me, getting smart with you? How would you know?"**

"I would probably find you more interesting had I studied psychology."

"**I'd explain it to you, but I don't have any crayons with me."**

"When you get to the men`s room, you will see a sign that says, "Gentlemen." Pay no heed to it. Go right on in."

"**All that you are you owe to your parents. Why don't you send them a penny and square the account?"**

"Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date."

"**Sperm burger."**

"Pinhead."

"**Slut Donkey."**

"Fucktard."

"**Tard."**

"Cunt."

"**Manbitch."**

"Chode muffin."

"**Dick blister."**

"Maniacal windbag."

"**Penis particle****."**

"Ass clown."

"**Ass hat."**

"Twat waffle."

"**Blond Babe, Blue-eyed, Big Breasted, Bad Breathed, Bubble-Butted, Bohemian Bimbo Bitch from hell.****"**

"NONAMESUSBUTTINFINGER"E"PLURUSS."

**~~~(*o*)~~~**

**~~~(^o^)~~~ ~~~(*o*)~~~ ~~~(^o*)~~~ ~~~(*o^)~~~ ~~~(*o*)~~~ ~~~(^o^)~~~ ~~~(^o*)~~~**

**(YOU MAY RESUME READING HERE. THANKYOU.)**

**~~~(*o^)~~~ ~~~(*o*)~~~ ~~~(^o^)~~~ ~~~(*o*)~~~ ~~~(^o*)~~~ ~~~(*o^)~~~ ~~~(*o*)~~~ ~~~(^o^)~~~**

"**Weakling."**

"Fatso."

"**I'm not fat! I'm just big!"**

"Exactly!"

"**Just go!"**

"Fine!"

"**Fine!"**

The two of them left, leaving three very confused shinobi.

One. Naruto goes on missions? Already? For how long?

Two. Naruto has a very colorful and interesting language…

~~~(*o^)~~~

Chapter 5—END!

~~~(^o*)~~~

What'd ya think? Didja like iiiitt?

HUUUUHHH?

Please R&R!

And Favorite!

And add to Alerts!

…

And thank you again all who reviewed:

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4/18/12 . chapter 4

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>46/12 . chapter 2

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>46/12 . chapter 2

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>46/12 . chapter 2

ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU!

JA-NE!


	6. Secrets Unnveiled

Welcome Welcome blah blah and all that shit.

Sorry for the long wait—broke my laptop screen. My dad had to buy a new one and put it in. Plus, I had even MORE work to catch up on.

Like reading a 300 something page book, doing 35 pages of reading reflections and making a portfolio containing all different works done this and last year—retyped on fancy paper with at least 10 pictures along with a list of the books I read, a table of contents, and a 'dear reader' letter…Which included having to FIND all that work…In less than three days…

No biggie.

Anyway, my mom wants me to do more (as in read three 400 page books by 'bed time' one Monday), but I felt I owed you guys an update—and here it is.

I think I wanna give her a name… I actually know one I thought up a while ago—it's not that good, but—Kami-kuso. Or Kamikuso. (kinda like 'god poop' or something)

Anyway, here we go~! (b4 my kamikuso catches me and takes my laptop away—nooooo!)

Chapter Six:

Team 7 (minus naru-chan) stood at a loss of what to do. Kakashi contemplated sending them home—but decided against.

Instead, "Sasuke, Sakura, we're going to Hokage Tower, alright?"

"Uh, yes, sensei.

"Hn."

Kakashi sighed. "Off we go…" Kakashi began roof hopping while Sasuke and Sakura could barely keep up. Well, Sasuke was doing a lot better that Sakura. (HEY!) Anyway, they arrived at the scene to see two anbu chatting happily.

"Excuse me?"

Flashback

Panda, Howaitoraio, and Hyou were just standing idly chatting outside hokage tower when they saw Kitsune about to run past them.

"Hey, Cap'n!" Hyou called out.

Kitsune turned to him. :Hm? Oh, hey team. How's it going."

"Good." Said Howaitoraio stepping forward. "You?"

"Good, good. I'm about to receive a mission."

"Well, good luck. See ya."

"Catch ya late Cap'n"

Panda nodded.

"Kay, bye temperamental she-man, lazy psycho, mute panda eyes." After saying that, Kit quickly dashed into the building, narrowly dodging the weapons thrown at him. _'Whew, that was a close one. At least the villagers' torments did _something_ good for me—I'm WAY better at dodging that anyone else in Konoha—or even the fire country! Not that I'm trying to brag—that's kinda hard to do when you're only thinking these things and the only one who would normally be hearing them is currently chasing bunnies…Yeah.'_

Flashback: End

Panda, Howaitoraio, and Hyou turned around to see the new stranger—who wasn't a stranger at all! It was their late captain!

"Yo, old cap'n." said Hyou.

"I'm old, now? I'm hurt."

"Uh, sensei?"

That was when the three noticed the kids.

"Right, Sakura." He looked back at three. "Did any of you notice a kid running into the tower—perhaps with a fox?"

Sakura nodded and Sasuke 'Hn'ed.

"Only person we saw was Kitsune-taichou, but Kyuu wasn't with him."

Kakashi, Sasuke, and Sakura's eyes widened—Kakashi's only slightly, and Sasuke a little more. Sakura was strait out _gaping._ Did the girl have _any _control over her body?

Kakashi asked cautiously, as if stepping through a mine field, "Who is Kyuu?"

"He's cap'n's summon. You didn't know? I thought he was like _famous _or something."

"Famous?"

"Yeah, he's known as 'The Merciless Fox Child', cause, one, he never shows his opponents mercy. Guess it was just how he was trained. Anyway, two is that he bores the mask of a Kitsune. Third, he's only 11."

"_Eleven?:_ said Sakura, shocked. "That's younger than us!"

"First of all, Sakura, show some respect. These three are _anbu._ Extremely high ranked ninja—just below sannin. Second, even I agree that eleven is too young,"

"Actually," said Hyou stepping closer, "we never said he was 11 when he joined. That;s just how old he is now."

"Then how old was he when he joined?"

"He was, at the time, six."

"SIX?" They all screamed. Kit took this moment to jump out of the Hokage's window and land right between the anbu and the rest of his genin team.

"Yo."

They almost fell out of the chairs.

Wait.

They don't have chairs… O-_kay_! Re-do.

They almost fell _over_. Kakashi and his team immediately recognized the similarities—the blond spikey hair, height, the fox wasn't here right now but had already confirmed that it had the same name and were both summons.

They realized, with emotions they could not describe, that Naruto was, indeed, an anbu.

He was not stupid.

He was not naïve.

He was not a gutsy idiot.

He was not Naruto.

He was a genius.

He had fooled them.

He did say he liked messing with people, didn't he?

He was _not _the Naruto Uzumaki they knew.

He was not Konoha's most unpredictable knucklehead ninja.

Who was he?

He was Kitsune, the Merciless Fox Chile.

An assassin.

A merciless killer.

But he was still a child.

Just not so naïve,

He must have realized when everyone thought he was just too stupid or naïve to realize.

He was not a stupid naïve child.

He was a poor, lonely child who had been forced to grow up too fast, one that had never understood love and saw things no child his age should have.

He was Naruto Uzumaki.

And all his life…

He had been alone…

But he wasn't naïve..

He knew it…

He kew how alone he was…

And he suffered…

Alone.

Chapter Six: End

So how was it?

Also, should I change the rating or genres are anything?

If so, then to what?

Thanks!

And please review!

Favorites and alerts are also very much appreciated!

Arigato!

Ja ne!


	7. Meet Me at Training Ground Seven

**Welcome, welcome.**

**Congrats, no annoying author's note this time!**

~~~(*o*)~~~

_Recap:_

_"SIX?" They all screamed. Kit took this moment to jump out of the Hokage's window and land right between the anbu and the rest of his genin team._

_"Yo."_

_They almost fell out of the chairs._

_Wait._

_They don't have chairs… O-__kay__! Re-do._

_They almost fell __over__. Kakashi and his team immediately recognized the similarities—the blond spikey hair, height, the fox wasn't here right now but had already confirmed that it had the same name and were both summons._

_They realized, with emotions they could not describe, that Naruto was, indeed, an anbu._

_He was not stupid._

_He was not naïve._

_He was not a gutsy idiot._

_He was not Naruto._

_He was a genius._

_He had fooled them._

_He did say he liked messing with people, didn't he?_

_He was __not __the Naruto Uzumaki they knew._

_He was not Konoha's most unpredictable knucklehead ninja._

_Who was he?_

_He was Kitsune, the Merciless Fox Chile._

_An assassin._

_A merciless killer._

_But he was still a child._

_Just not so naïve,_

_He must have realized when everyone thought he was just too stupid or naïve to realize._

_He was not a stupid naïve child._

_He was a poor, lonely child who had been forced to grow up too fast, one that had never understood love and saw things no child his age should have._

_He was Naruto Uzumaki._

_And all his life…_

_He had been alone…_

_But he wasn't naïve.._

_He knew it…_

_He kew how alone he was…_

_And he suffered…_

_Alone._

~~~(*o*)~~~

Chapter Seven:

Meet Me at Training Ground Seven

~~~(*o*)~~~

"N-Naruto?" Sakura asked timidly, almost as if unsure of herself.

Naruto looked in her direction and muttered a low. "Oh shit."

"Taichou?" asked Howaitoraio.

"Hai?"

"Do you know this girl?"

Kit sighed. "Unfortunately, yes. I do."

"I see…"

"Cap'n?"

"Yes, Hyou?"

"Erm… How da ya know 'em?"

Kit sighed—again—and said, "They're my new genin team."

Hyou's face immediately lit up whiles Kit's team (genin, not anbu) stared jaw slack. Their theory had just been confirmed by the man—err, boy—himself.

"Naruto," Kakashi interrupted, "We need to talk."

Sighing, _again_, Naruto just waved a hand and said, "Hai, hai." He nodded to his anbu squad and before anyone could respond, Naruto just said, "Training Ground 7, then?" and disappeared.

"Ah!" One of the anbu suddenly said, startling the two genin, and continued, "I just 'membered why we're here!"

"Well? Out with it!" said another.

"We 'ere getting a mission and 'ere suppose ta wait for Cap'n ta be done with his meeting with da Hokage!"

"Oh, shit!" And the three wide-eyed anbu were suddenly gone—not that they could tell they were wide eyed—masks, remember?

Kakashi sighed. "Off to training ground seven, then?" and he shunshined away, leaving the two remaining ninja to _walk_ to the training ground.

Finally they arrived, and were only mildly surprised when Kakashi arrived about a second or two after them (Even though he supposedly shunshined there before they had even began walking).

Other than them, in the area, there was also the three anbu from before, as well as Naruto hanging upside down from a tree.

"Yo," said Kit, "What's up?"

Team seven slightly twitched but most of them managed to cover that up for the most part.

Hanging lazily from a branch about five meters away from them, casually greeting them while upside down, was Naruto Uzumaki, the famous anbu ninja fox, also known as 'The Merciless Fox Child'. He had the same messy blonde hair he always had, and as far as they could tell, his height was the same as always. He was wearing the standard anbu uniform, along with a sword on his back that had a neon orange sheath and guard. On each of his hips were six scrolls—twelve in all. They each had something written on them: キツネ (Kitsune/fox), 馬 (uma/horse), ヒョウ(Hyou/panther), 猫 (Neko/cat), 虎 (tora/tiger), ライオン (raion/lion), フェニックス (Fenikkusu/phoenix), ドラゴン (doragon/dragon), 地獄の番犬 (Jigoku no banken/hellhound), 悪魔 (akuma/demon), and two had 医療用品 (Iryō yōhin/medical supplies). He also had an orange scarf that would have been tickling his face—as he _was _upside down—if It weren't for the fact that he was wearing a mask; and on that mask, there was an eerily creepy grin whose lips only curved up slightly on the ends and eyes that clearly mimicked Naruto's well-known fox smile, whereas in his eyes are incredibly squinted, if not closed. A fox face indeed~.

"Naruto," Kakashi asked cautiously, "could the four of us talk _alone_?"

"We are alone." Naruto said—even though the two genin and single jounin were currently staring at three anbu all sitting against the trunk of the tree Naruto was in.

They noted that the first was a male with messy black hair to his shoulders, and was the one that was constantly slurring his words. He had on the standard anbu uniform, plus a choker that looked suspiciously like a miniature spine. He bore the mask of the panther—Hyou.

The second was a girl and had yet to talk. She had short white hair that was longer in the front, and bangs. Her anbu uniform was quite strange—all the parts that were usually black were black and white striped. She also had a black and white striped scarf. _Panda,_ they all thought.

The third and final one had white hair in a braid that went down to his thighs. In one of his ears dangled three senbon dangerously. He had a standard anbu uniform and had the Nara clan symbol tattooed onto the backs of each of his hands.

Sakura spoke timidly. "N-Na-Naru-Naruto-k-kun…"

"Hm?" he drawled lazily, his mask turning towards her direction.

"Eep! W-we-wel-ll, I-I, u-uh-um-m… Th-we-oh-uh-umm… W-we-we-ll, K-k-kakashi-i, u-um, s-sa-said a-a-lo-one. A-and, th-th-there a-are a-a-an-b-bu o-o-ve-rr th-ther-re. S-s-so, t-tech-ni-c-c-ll-ly, w-w-we a-ar-ent a-a-alo-ne. A-and, um-"

"DOBE." Sasuke said sternly, finally having had enough of Sakura's pointless stuttering. Psh, so what if the dobe was an anbu—err, anbu _captain_. A-anyway, he's still a dobe…right? Maybe not…but _still._

Naruto had to admit, he was kind of enjoying Sakura's terrified stuttering, annoying as it was—it was still entertaining to see her about to piss her pants.

"_Sigh… Why did Sasuke have to stop her…*pout*."_

"…"

"…_Hello?"_

"…"

"…_I'm so alone…"_

"…"

"…_Sing a song, a happy song~"_

"_Sennen ko wa sagashiteru! Daiji no hatto sagashiteru! Anata wa atani, tashika me yo~!"_

"…_**Kit?"**_

"_Kyuu, you're back!"_

"_**Obviously…"**_

"_Psh, so mean…"_

"_**Sigh…"**_

"_Ah! You just said 'sigh'! And you made fun of me for that before! HA!"_

"…_**I'm leaving…"**_

"_Oh no you're not."_

"_**And why not?"**_

"_Because, you're in my MIND, and only I can get you out?"_

"…_**Fuck you. I'm going to sleep, then."**_

"_Pout. Meanie."_

"_**Ha. And you just said pout. I believe I win."**_

"…_I'm leaving."_

"_**You can't."**_

"_And why not?"_

"_**Because this is YOUR mind."**_

"…_Oh."_

"_**Yeah, 'oh.'"**_

"_Fuck you."_

"_**I love you, too."**_

"Naruto!"

Naruto grinned sheepishly and laughed, "Heh, sorry Sasu-chan~! Little distracted, care to repeat?"

*Insert irritated sigh* "As I was _saying_—dobe—is that, like Sakura said, there are three anbu over there. _Meanwhile_, Kakashi said **alone.**"

Naruto looked at him with an 'Are-you-fucking-serious?' look. "Sasuke… You do know they're asleep, right?" Naruto deadpanned.

"…"

"Thought so," muttered Naruto, removing himself from the tree he was just hanging upside down from.

"D-dobe…"

"Ahem," Kakashi interrupted, "Now that we have established that, can we _please_ get back to the problem at hand here?" Kakashi may have sounded like he was actually worried about the battle, but he really just wanted to read the ending of his book.

"Right, right," Naruto started, "Now, where to begin…?"

~~~(*o*)~~~

Chapter Seven: End

~~~(*o*)~~~

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Or at least favorite or alert!

THANKS!


	8. It's Time for a Talk

**Hooray! I finally graduated eighth grade on June eighth (my b-day :3)! But I'm gunna miss all my friends that went to different schools like St. John's. I went to St. Anthony's. **

**Anyway, welcome to the eighth chapter of The Merciless Fox Child (I'm so proud of myself xD)**

**Now, don't worry, I won't bore you with an extra-long authors note. You may read the story now—hooray~!**

_Recap:_

_"Naruto!"_

_Naruto grinned sheepishly and laughed, "Heh, sorry Sasu-chan~! Little distracted, care to repeat?"_

_*Insert irritated sigh* "As I was __saying__—dobe—is that, like Sakura said, there are three anbu over there. __Meanwhile__, Kakashi said __**alone.**__"_

_Naruto looked at him with an 'Are-you-fucking-serious?' look. "Sasuke… You do know they're asleep, right?" Naruto deadpanned._

_"…"_

_"Thought so," muttered Naruto, removing himself from the tree he was just hanging upside down from._

_"D-dobe…"_

_"Ahem," Kakashi interrupted, "Now that we have established that, can we __please__ get back to the problem at hand here?" Kakashi may have sounded like he was actually worried about the battle, but he really just wanted to read the ending of his book._

_"Right, right," Naruto started, "Now, where to begin…?"_

~~~(*o*)~~~

Chapter Eight:

It's Time for a Talk

~~~(*o*)~~~

"So…" Naruto started.

"So what?" Asked Kakashi. "Aren't you going to tell us?"

Naruto tilted his head sideways in a sort of cute manor—though he was still upside down. Taking a closer look, he must have been like that for a while because it looked like his blood was slowly rushing to his head like it always does when you hang upside down—or almost always.

To add to his cute little act of head tilting, Naruto also furrowed his eyebrows, one of which was rising slightly higher than the other. He opened his mouth to speak, but instead sighed. He swung a little managing to get himself sitting upright in the branch with practiced ease and grace. Spinning around to face them, he smiled stupidly.

"Tell you what?"

If they had chairs, they would have just fallen off them. Did he have short term memory loss, too? Maybe it was caused by one of his_ apparently many dangerous_ missions…?

It was Kakashi's turn to sigh. "Naruto, do you have short term memory loss?"

"No…"

To say Naruto was confused would be beyond an understatement. What the _hell_ were they talking about? They had never mentioned what they wanted to talk about, just said they needed to talk. Then, when Naruto asks them where to begin, as he had no idea what he was supposed to tell them, they just stood there waiting patiently as if _they_ were the one who asked a question. The nerve! Then, when Naruto requests a second time that they tell him what he is supposed to tell them, they go and accuse him of short term memory loss! How dare they! They will not hear the last of this!_ 'Shampoo bottles, here I come!' _**(A/N: What he means by 'shampoo bottles here I come', he's referring to pranks that revolve around shampoo bottles—dying hair colors to be exact!) **Naruto expressed his thoughts to them—minus the part about pranking them, of course.

Now it was their turn to be confused—or exasperated. Was Naruto really that stupid? Wasn't he an anbu? Then, he shouldn't be stupid, right? Right. Or maybe he's messing with them…? So confusing…

"Naruto, we would like it if you could explain to us about you being an anbu _as well as_ a member of our team. Since when? How? Why? And why didn't we know?"

Sasuke and Sakura nodded.

"I was actually planning on telling. But, oh well.

Anyway, I've been an anbu since I was six. And for your information, it wasn't by choice—the council demanded it. When they caught wind of how powerful I actually was, they had started a riot—not literally—and demanded a meeting be adjourned. The old man complied, and eventually they decided to put me in the anbu. And, as you know, anbu tend to keep their identity a secret. So, that's: since when, how, why, and why you didn't know. Anything else?"

Kakashi nodded in understanding, as did Sakura. Sasuke just did his usual—and well known trademark—"Hn." **(LOL :3) **But there was one thing he didn't get…"How did Naruto get so strong in the first place? For a while, he stood still contemplating on whether or not he should ask about it, silently enjoying the sight of the impatient as well as under aged anbu squirm impatiently in a tree branch the belonged to the tree in front of him where the three other anbu were sleeping soundly—or at least that's what he thought—and hoped—there was no way you could really tell. It was pretty much impossible.

Anyway, getting back to Kakashi, he had finally decided. He was going to ask Naruto about how he had gotten so strong at such a young age in the first place—and hopefully he'd get a good and clear answer.

"Naruto." Kakashi addressed.

"Kakashi."

"I have one more question."

"Well? Spit it out already you lazy ass pervert!"

Kakashi twitched. In the background Sasuke and Sakura were trying to stifle giggles. HA! Take that sensei!

Kakashi sighed," I was just wondering, how did you get so powerful in the first place?"

This sparked Sasuke and Sakura's attention, so they quickly leaned closer and began to listen more carefully.

Naruto, himself, knew he could answer that question, nor could he lie to them about it. There was only one thing to do…

"Ow!" yelled Naruto, proceeding to wake up the anbu who had been sleeping, and now were standing and as alert as ever.

Sasuke and Sakura jumped, and Kakashi was startled.

"Naruto, what's wrong?"

"Hai, cap'n, what happ'n? We 'eard scream'n and woke up 'mediately!"

"Something bit my finger!"

Everyone sweatdropped.

"It was you, wasn't it!" Naruto interrupted Kakashi, who was about to talk.

"Me?"

"Yes, you!"

"But I'm right here. I never moved. How would I-"

"Liar! I saw you don't think I don't know!"

"Saw me? Saw what? And what are you talking about-"

"Silence! You insolent child, how _dare_ you interrupt me!"

"You're only eleven! I'm _way_ older than you!"

"Fool! Lie! Hand over your lolly-gagger, _now,_ you insolent child, filthy brat!"

"Bu-"

"NO BUTTS!"

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A LOLLY-GAGGER IS!"

"IT'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU! IN YOU POCKET!"

"THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SCENSE!"

"YES IT DOES!"

"NO, IT DOESN'T!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"NO!"

"NO!"

"YES!"

"AH-HA! YOU ADMIT IT!"

"ADMIT WHAT?"

"YOU TELL ME, YOU LOLLY-GAGGER!"

"BUT YOU WERE THE ONE WHO-"

"NO! YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME!"

Naruto quickly made than handsigns required before disappearing in a swirl of rainbows and confetti.

"Umm…"

There was a 'poof' that quickly revealed to be Kyuu.

"What'd I miss?"

~~~(*o*)~~~

Chapter Eight: End

~~~(*o*)~~~

Please R&R!

Or at least favorite or alert!

Thank you!

Ja-ne!

Kyuu-sama still loves ya! (and he'll love you more if you review~!)


	9. Of BlueberriesSyrupMissionsAnd GameShows

Chapter Nine—and I've just discovered Conan. So, welcome.

Welcome, indeed…

O-kaaaay… So, before I continue on, I am sad—and ashamed—to say, that when beginning writing this fanfiction, my only plans were: have Naruto and everything be introduced; have Naruto join team 7; have Naruto's identity be discovered; and I… Well, I never thought about what would happen after that. So, if anyone has any ideas, I'd be glad to hear them. : )

Thanks!

(Until then, things'll just be pretty random. I wouldn't call them fillers, though. They might be important later in the fanfic… Soooo. Yeah. : ))

Now, on with the story!

~~~~~~O/_\O~~~~~~

Chapter 9

Of Blueberries, Syrup, Missions and Game Shows-And a Side of Threats

~~~~~~O/_\O~~~~~~

"**So…" said Kyuu, "Well this is **_**awkward…"**_

"Umm… Yes, it is." Said Kakashi.

"What now, sensei?" asked Sakura, "That baka can't really be an anbu, can he? I mean, Sasuke's _way_ better _and_ stronger than him, but _Sasuke's_ not an _anbu_."

Kakashi sighed. _'Damn obsessed fangirls…'_ ("Achoo!" Century Viscount sneezed, "The hell…?") "Sakura, Naruto's been faking this whole time. I suspect that the way he usually acts around us is fake as well—sadly. While, it's good to know he isn't actually _that_ annoying—while he is still pretty annoying—I have to admit I'm going to miss that little ball of sunshine…and orange-ness. He-"

Kyuu sniffled, **"Th-that's so sweet! I have to tell him!"** Kyuu began prancing in a circle whilst team 7 and the anbu **(you forgot about them, didn't you?)** watched in a mixture of confusion, shock, amusement, and plain speechlessness. **"Na-ru-TOOOOO!" **Kyuubi stopped suddenly. **"Where is Naruto?"** He looked around for a few seconds—or _minutes_—and then turned to the two teams each missing a member. **"Ano… Where's Naruto?"**

**(Umm… Sorry for the mix up, but "****Howaitoraio" was supposed to be "Howaitoraion". So… Yeah.)**

Howaitoraion was the one to talk, "Kyuu-sama, our Taichou has already left, probably-" she suddenly gasped," WE WERE SUPPOSE TO BE MEETING TO DISCUS OUR MISSION!"

Panther exclaimed, "That's right! Damn it, how the hell did I forget? Not important right now, we got to go."

However, instead of everyone leaving, they all turned to Panther.

"…What?"

"Imposter!" shouted Howaitoraion.

Team 7 was utterly confused. Why were they making such sudden accusations? Then, suddenly, something clicked in Kakashi's mind. "You didn't slur your words!"

The rest of team 7 made small sounds of realization as "Panther" suddenly cursed. "Dammit! How could I be so freaken careless!" He turned to the anbu team. "I congratulate you on discovering my identity is false—however! That does not change the fact that you do not know my true identity!"

"Damn," Howaitoraion cursed. "Who are you? What do you want with us? With the village?"

Sakura, hell even Sasuke was scared. They couldn't believe it. First, they find out their idiotic teammate, the dead last, was—_is_—an anbu. Then, they end up involved in some serious shit about some guy—_dangerous_ guy—posing as an anbu from their village. What's next?

"Hmpth. Silly girl…"

"I'm a _guy_!"

"_Sure_ you are."

Oh-kaaay… Seriousness of the situation ruined right there.

"I _AM!_"

"Honestly, save your arguments for later. As of now I have my men positioned in various places around the village."

They gasped.

"And each one of them, has been training for years to be a suicide bomber, and are currently covered head-to-toe in various paper bombs."

Some more gasps and a "You've gotta be shitting me!"

"What do you want from us?" Kakashi demanded angrily, shaking his fist like those old guys in old cartoons and stuff.

"What do I want from you? WHAT DO I WANT FROM _YOU_?"

"Um, yeah, that's kinda what I asked…"

"How _dare_ you! I'll blow this city to shreds!"

"No!" White Lion screamed, horrified.

"You can't do this!" Sakura begged.

"Oh? And what will _you_ do to stop me?"

"I-I…"

"That's what I thought. Now, on with the show!"

"Show? What _show?_" Sasuke asked, entering the conversation. (He was surprised when Sakura didn't immediately start cheering for her "Sasuke-kun". In fact, she never did It at all… "What the hell?)

"Simple, really. It's like a game show you could say."

"H-how do you play?"

Kyuu sighed,**"Ugh, not this again…" (who's figured it out yet? His identity, I mean!)**

"Simple," he said, passing a genjutsu over the six of them, some how preventing them from figuring out who he is from his chakra.

They were now in a strange room with podeums and weird stange buttons.

"Each of you stand by a button while I stand here and ask questions. You answer by pressing the button and then saying the answer aloud. Who ever answers the most most questons, wins."

"Sounds easy enouph."

"But if not one of you manages to score at least 15 points…KA-BLAMO!"

"Ka-blamo?"

"Yes, ka-blamo."

"Not ka-boom?"

"No, now shut up."

"Okay."

Everyone got in their respective places while Kyuubi and Panther disguised themselves with genjutsu and were currently getting comfortable in a corner to watch the show.

"First question," the threatening man announced, "Who was your crush in the acadamy!" shocking the ninja who had been expecting him to ask about village secrets and the such.

"_Everyone_ must answer! And don't bother lying, I can hear your heart beat!"

"But you said-!"

"Shut up and do as I say, mortal!"

"Wha- Bu-"

"KA-BLAMO!"

"Fine…"

"Kakashi, you're first!"

"M-me?"

"Well, DUH. I said your name, didn't, I?"

Kakashi twitched." W-well I didn't really like anyone during the acadamy-"

"Good enouph! Sakura!"

"Well, I-"

"Shut up, I don't care! Sasuke!"

"W-we…Well, I…Umm…I-I-"

"HA! Just hearing you stutter is good enouph! Panda!"

Panda blushed and looked down—not that they could see it, and _shyly_ jabbed her finger at White Lion.

"Oh?" He said, positively intriged. "And White Lion?"

"Uh-uh…Um…" He jabbed his head slightly toward Panda causing them both to blush—and no, they could see it! It reached all the way up to their ears!

"Alright, alright, enouph match-making for today, time for the next question." In the background, Kyuu and Pan were snickering and chuckling. "If you could kiss anyone in this room, who would it be? Kakashi!"

"Honestly—"

"Duh!"

"Well, as I was saying, you."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…What? You said honestly."

"U-um… Okay, Sakura!"

"We—"

"Shut up, I don't care! I'm bored of this question, so NEXT QUESTION! What is your guilty pleasure? Kakashi!"

"Well~"

"EWW, I don't want to know!"

"Aw…"

"Sakura!"

"Well~"

"Eww! Even grosser! Sasuke!"

"—"

"You know what? Some things are better left unknown. Next question! What is your best friend's mom's name? Kakashi!"

"Wha—How would I-?"

"Err! Wrong! Next, Sasuke!"

"Wha-? What about me-"

"Shut up, you're annoying. Sasuke!"

"He's orphan-"

"**Aww, you do care!"** said Kyuu, from where he and Panther were now visible.

"Panther!"

"Sup."

"Final question! What is a lolly-gagger? Panther!"

"Him!" Panther said, pointing accusingly at Kakashi.

"Wha-!"

"NEVER!"

Panther and the mysterioous man said in unison and the mysterious man transformed into his original form—Naruto.

"Come come, my pretties, to nether nether land with me and my lolly gaggers! There we will discuss our mission! And off we goooo~!"

Naruto, Panther, and Kyuu all disappeared in a whirl of blueberries and syrup—which made quite a mess. That the people who were still there all had to clean up. (_"Fuck you, Captain! And your little Panther, too!")_

~~~~~~O/_\O~~~~~~

End of Chapter 9

~~~~~~O/_\O~~~~~~

Review? Please? I'll write and update MUCH faster if you do! Promise! I swear on Kyuu-sama and little Naru-chan's life, as well as the rest of the Narutp characters of Narutoness—which I do not own! (Sadly…)


	10. The Day the Hair God Got Pissed

**This Chapter is dedicated to...**

**Lokiva!**

**Horray!**

**Now, on to the story!**

~~O/_\O~~

Merciless Fox Child Chapter 10

The Day the Hair God Got Pissed

~~O/_\O~~

2 Days Later…

~~O/_\O~~

Naruto sighed contently. Throughout the last few days he had managed to get everything sorted out between him teams and the hokage. It felt nice to finally be at peace. Everything was calm. Looking around, birds were chirping, flowers were blooming. It was too early still for anyone to be up, so he had some time to himself whereas he could finally relax. It was nice to be out of all the ruckus and finally have some peace and quiet.

Not.

Okay, this was _not_ okay. Time to change some things. He looked around and saw that the hokages' faces looked quite dry today… Nah, he already did that and it wasn't that fun. Maybe tomorrow? Yeah, he'd save that honor for tomorrow. Maybe he could—NO. How the hell could he forget! The _shampoo bottles_! Of course! How could he forget!

'_Hehehe… Just you wait…'_

If anyone were awake right now they probably would have pissed their pants at the evil aura he was emitting and his creepy face and snickering that made him appear to be mentally insane… :)

:D

~~O/_\O~~

With Sakura

~~O/_\O~~

Sakura yawned widely.

_'Time for another day of Sasuke staliking~.'_

She got up and looked around for her alarm clock; and, lo and behold, there it was-right where she had left it-just waiting to be read...

She looked over at the clock and carefully read the time...

It was off.

Well, shit.

But, _oh well~!_

It's not like it mattered anyway. Kakashi-sensei was going to be late-again-so whether or not _she_ was late, didn't really matter.

So, she went over to the bathroom to begin her morning routine which began with a shower.

Now, in the shower, she made sure to clean her body until she was squeeky clean; not stopping until her skin was almost as pink as her hair. Once done with that, and shaving of course, she moved on to _'lathering, rinsing, and repeating'_. She squeezed out a healthy amount of shampoo and began massaging it into her scalp and many stands of hair. Afterward, she rinsed it out and moved onto conditioning-this time leaving it in much longer while she just relaxed. All done, having rinsed the conditioner out, she stepped out of the shower and dried herself off, then proceding to do the rest of her morning routine.

~~O/_\O~~

With Kakashi

~~O/_\O~~

Kakashi opening his eyes to his Ichi-Ichi Paradise poster on his ceiling. Blushing and giggling pervertedly, he sat up and streched his arms. Not bothering to check the time, as it honestly didn't matter to him, he got up out of bed and began doing morning streches and his morning work out.

After that was through, Kakashi proceded to take up more time by taking a shower.

A nice, _loooooooooong_ shower.

Anyway.

There, Kakashi did everything he'd normally do in the shower and more.

After taking up as much time as possible to not only clean, but relax and unwind after his nice long workout, he stepped out and dried himself off, before proceding to get ready and get dressed.

~~O/_\O~~

With Sasuke

~~O/_\O~~

Sasuke opened his eyes.

And he stared.

And stared.

And then he began to yaw-NO!

Sasuke quickly coved his mouth and forced himself to stop.

Uchihas do _NOT_ yawn.

It is illmannered and rude.

But it feels _sooooo_ _gooooooooood~~!_

Sucking up his pride and wiping the tears of shame from his eyes, Sasuke allowed himself to yawn.

...

...

Now, a moment of silence, please, for Sasuke's dearly departed pride...

...

...

Anyway.

Sasuke got up and did his morning exercies like any other _dedicated_ shinobi that actually _cared _about being a shinobi and _not fangirling._

Afterwards, he took a shower and then dried off. Standing in front of the mirror he took some gel and attempted to force the hair on the back of his head down. **(1)**

This process continued for approximately six hours.

The result of all his hardwork was: a _permanant _duck butt-head that _refused _to disappear...

The next two or three hours were spent practicing his scowling in a mirror. **(2)**

Great work Sasuke, great work.

The rest of his morning routine-you don't need to know.

This is a need to know basis, here.

...

Sort of.

~~O/_\O~~

Everyone in Konaha except Naruto

~~O/_\O~~

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"

That day was later to be known as the day the legendary hair God got pissed and decided to take it out on Konoha.

~~O/_\O~~

The shinobi were stuck in an aqward silence...

An extremely large amount of shinobi had gathered on the hokage monument shortly after the incident had occured, and were currently admiring each others hair.

Sakura had a green afro that almost seemed to sparkle...

Kakashi had black that was really shiny and for some reason refused to stick up... **(3)**

Gai had silver that was dull and for some reason wouldn't go down no matter what... **(3)**

Lee's was red and spiky... **(4)**

Neji had blond and spiky... **(5)**

Tenten had gray and wavy...

Hinata had orange and spiky... **(6)**

Kiba had blond and spiky... **(7)**

Shino was pink and sparky and afro like and~...

Kurenai was purple and perfectly strait... **(8)**

Ino had green and curly...

Shikamaru had strait blond... **(9)**

Chouji had a red afro...

Asuma had powder pink and spiky...

Sarutobi had an ENOURMAS orange afro... **(10)**

Jiriya had EXTREMELY curly rainbow hair~...

And, finally, Sasuke had pink _duck-butt_ hair. What the fuck? Why can't he get rid of the the duck butt? WHY WON'T IT GO AWAAAAAAAAAAAAY? **(11) (12)**

And they were all thinking the same thing...

'!'

~~O/_\O~~

Somewhere else...

~~O/_\O~~

_'Hehehee! _Much _better!'_

~~O/_\O~~

Chapter 10: End

~~O/_\O~~

**(1, 2, and 11) Sasuke didn't notice it when he was looking in the mirror because he was too distraced by his stubborn duck butt hair style and his scowling technique.**

**(3)-Kakashi and Gai switched~!**

**(4)-Like gaara...**

**(5)-Like Jiriya, except blond! Like Minato or Naruto!**

**(6)-Like Pein but longer!**

**(7)-Naruto: Ha! Take that! Now you look like me!**

**(8)-Kind of like Hinata.**

**(9)-Like Deidara.**

**(10)-Naruto: ORANGE! UAHAHAHAHAHAAA!**

**(12)-Like Sakura but he still has his duck-butt~!**

**Please Read and Review!**


	11. The Mission That Was Never Recorded

The Merciless Fox Child - Chapter Eleven

The Mission That Was Never Recorded

~O/_\O~

**AN:**** I apologise if I get/do anything wrong, I had no internet connection as I was on a week long vacation in the mountains in I believe upstate NY (?), so I did a lot of improvising and guessing. Sooo... This'll be interesting! (I also have no spell check, SORRY!)**

~O/_\O~

It had taken about a week for the effects of the hair dye to wear off, and everything was back to normal.

Well, as normal as it will ever be.

Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, and Kakashi were standing before the Hokage and several chunin. The tension in the air was so thick it could be cut by a kunai.

"Naruto, stop that."

Naruto pocketed the kunai he had been attempting to cut through the tension with.

"...Sorry."

"Ahem. As I was saying..."

"ACHOO!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Sorry..."

Sarutobi cleared his throat again, and glared at Naruto. "As I was saaaaying..."

He turned to look at all four ninja standing before him. "As punishment for revealing your identity..."

Naruto gulped.

"You will be taking a long term C-rank mission, where you will be guarding a bridge builder named Tazuna..."

"Awww..."

"Naruto, shut up. You four will be guarding him on his journey back to the land of the waves, and until the bridge is finished being built. Do you understand?"

"Hai!"

The chunin, two genin, and lone jonin stared at Naruto as he was kneeling toward the Hokage and announcing "hai" like an anbu would.

"Er... Habit?" And he dissappeared in a poof of smoke. Sarutobi sighed.

"He wasn't suppose to leave yet..."

"I'll get him." Kakashi voluntered. He, too, dissappeared in a poof of smoke, and then reappeared holding Naruto. He dropped Naruto.

"ITAI! THAT HURT!"

"Oops!" Kakashi eye smiled (all mischeif-y like~).

"Ahem," The Third sweatdropped, "You may come in now, Tazuna..."

"Finally," he burped, "How long have I been standing there anyway? Why was I even there in the first place? Why couldn't I just stay here? Why did I have to stand outside? How does this make any sense? And are those really my guards? They're a bunch of kids! And the tall one kinda creeps me out... Pinky there is probably some obsessed fangirl drama queen, and the blue one! What's with all the blue!? Why does he look emo? What if he suddenly decides to commit suicide on the mission and make it look like it was an accident? I'll be short one guard! In fact he'll probably be _trying _to get himself hurt! And the _orange _one-" He paused. "Er... The orange one's kinda scaring me..."

_**"If only he knew just how right he was..."**_

_'I know, it's like he's phsycic!"_

"AHEM!" said the hokage.

Everyone looked at him.

"Ahem. Do not worry. They are stonger than they look. The silver haired one takes his job very seriously, and the orange one won't hurt you. I can't make any guarenties for his enemys, though... And the blue one has a goal he wants to complete, so he won't be dying anytime soon."

"What about me!?" screamed Sakura.

"So, yeah, meet at the gate in an hour. Bye!"

~O/_\O~

Sakura arrived at the gate following about a foot behind Sasuke to an... interesting scene.

"C'mon, Tazuna, keep going! 72! 73! 74!"

Naruto, his clone, and Tazuna were playing... double dutch.

"75! 76! 77! 78! 79! 80! 81! 82! Almost there! 83! 84!"

"Er... Naruto?" Sakura tried.

"85! 86! 87!"

"Dobe...?"

"88! 89! 90! 91!"

_Poof!_

"Hi guys! Sorry I'm late, but I- Naruto? Tazuna-san?"

"92! 93! 94!"

"Er..."

"95! 96!"

"Hey..."

"97! 98! 99!"

_**"Kit..."**_

"100!" Naruto and Tazuna screamed together. "Yeah! We did it!"

"Oh-kay..." said Kakashi. "You done? Should we, um, go now?"

"Yeah, of course," said Naruto, "Why not?"

"Um... Yeah. Let's go."

_**"And so, they set off, into the sunset together, 100 jumps reached and ready to go on an adventure together..."**_

_'KYUUBI!'_

_**"Heh heh... Sorry."**_

~O/_\O~

The trip overall was pretty boring, or at least until they reached a puddle.

"STOP!"

Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi, and Tazuna all stopped and looked at Naruto. Sasuke, Sakura, and Tazuna were alarmed when he took out some shuriken, Kakashi allready having noticed what had allerted him. He took the shuriken and threw them all at the puddle. The less experienced were cunfuzzled (WAY better than saying confused) until two shinobi jumped out and went after Kakashi and Naruto, who were both torn to shreds. Sakura screamed and Sasuke and Tazuna were frozen in shock. Sasuke, however managed to break out of his shock and attack. He took down one, but while he was busy the other one took his chance at him. He was about to get Sasuke when Naruto, who was previesly thought to be dead, suddenly appeared out of nowhere, and blocked Sasuke, getting cut in the process.

"Naruto!" (that was sasuke)

"H-how?" (sakura)

He pointed to the (shredded) logs that now replaced his and Kakashi's (shredded) bodies.

"Wha-wha?"

_Poof!_ "Yo!" said Kakashi.

"Yup." said Naruto.

"D-dobe..."

"Mm? Wha is it Sas-gay?"

_Twitch_ "There was poison on that kunai he cut you with..."

Kakashi's one visable eye widened, as did Sakura and Tazuna's.

"Oh, poison you say? Yeah, yeah- WAIT, WHAT?!"

"HELP! I'M DYING! SOMEBODY SAVE MEEEEE!"

"Naruto," assured Kakashi, "You just have to get the poison out..."

Naruto froze in his paniking. "Oh. That's it?"

"...yes?"

"Oh. Okay, then."

Naruto took a kunai from his personal stock and stabbed it in his hand, tearing through his wound, splitting his hand wide open for the world to see.

Tazuna was frozen, Sakura screamed, and Kakashi and Sasuke were wide-eyed.

"There. Done."

They were even more shocked when it healed, in seconds, right before their eyes.

"All better."

They watched, frozen, as Naruto literally _skipped_ away.

Kakashi cleared his throat, "Ahem. Umm... Moving on? I'll take back, Sasuke take right and Sakura take his left. I guess Naruto will lead...?"

"C'mon! Hurry up slow pokes!"

"Naruto!" Sakura screamed, "Slow down! Wait up for us!"

*insert awesome pagebreaker*

The men, plus Sakura, were happily (not) walking through the woods. Suddenly, Kakashi and Naruto heard something.

"Duck!" Kakashi yelled as he grabbed Sakura, pushing her down, seeing as Sasuke had handled Tazuna and himself.

"Duck? Where?" Naruto bent down just as a giant sword flew over his head and implanted itself in a tree, only for a man to land to on it.

"Heh," he said, "I'd expect no less from the famous copy-cat ninja, Kakashi..."His stange outfit consisted of stripes, cow print, and tape covering his mouth and nose.

Elsewhere (only about a foot or two away), Naruto stood up, just after a sword had passed over his head. "I can't find it... Where is it Kakashi-sensei?!"

"Err..." Kakashi, simply put, was at a loss for words... what happened to being a super tough, super awesome ninja that never shows mercy and is, like really strong and smart and intellegent and stuff?!

"Sigh... And I got so excited..."

"...Hey..." Zabuza twitched. This brat...

"Oh my GAMMIT! It's a duck! OMG, WHAT SHOULD I NAME HIM?"

"HEY!"

"OKAY! I'LL EITHER NAME HIM AFTER IRON MAN/TONY STARK OR THE FULL METAL ALCHEMIST/EDWARD ELRIC BECAUSE HE HAS THIS AWESOME METAL ANKLET THAT PROBABLY CAN'T COME OFF!"

"HEEEYYY!"

"IRON MAN! BECAUSE HE'S MORE LIKE HIM THAN EDWARD! LIKE STARK, HE HAS ONLY LIKE ONE METAL THING ATTATCHED TO HIM THAT PROBABY CAN'T COME OFF/OUT! HE WILL NOW BE KNOWN AS IRON DUCK, ALSO KNOWN AS _STARK_!"

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEYYYYYY!"

"Hmm?" Naruto turned to look at Zabuza (finally). "Who are you?"

*twitch* "I am Zabuza Momochi. Prepare to die!" Zabuza said, stepping down and tearing the sword from the tree.

**Chapter 11:**_** End!**_

**TBC... :3**


	12. In Ducks and Fights: Naruto Breaks

The Merciless Fox Child Chapter Twelve:

In Ducks and Fights: Naruto Breaks

**-page breaker-**

Key:

"Normal Speech."

_'Naruto's thoughts.'_

_**'Naruto's thoughts when he transforms.'**_

_**"Kyuubi's speech."**_

**-page breaker-**

"Eh?" asked Naruto, "Me?"

"What? No! Why would I wanna fight an annoying brat like you?" Zabuza sneered, "I'll probably just flick you and you'll start crying and runnin' to your sensei. Why should I even bother? Waste of time!"

Naruto's face darkened and suddenly the tension was back, making the duck shiver in fear and anticipation...WAIT A SECOND.

"...Naruto? Where did you even find that duck, anyway?" asked Kakashi.

"Eh?" Naruto looked up and looked over at Kakashi. "What are you talking about, sensei, you were the one that found him!"

"Actually, Naruto, I-"

"DOBE. When he said "duck", he was talking about the sword."

"Eh? What sword?"

"The sword that was just fucking implanted in that tree after it flew over our freaken heads!"

"EHH?! WHAT?!" Naruto began frantically swinging his head around. "Ah! When?!"

"Damn it..." Zabuza grumbled, his features darkening. "I'm called the freaken demon of the mist for a reason..."

"But seriously, Naruto," asked Kakashi-sensei, "Where did you get the du-"

"ENOUGH!" yelled Zabuza. "I've had enough! You don't ignore me! Especially when I'm fucking _threatening _you!"

Zabuza was by them faster than they could blink, and he did something he was doomed to regret.

He stepped on the duck.

Everyone froze at the sound of small bones cracking.

Sakura was heartbroken-horrified. How could do such a thing? To a poor innocent creature.

Kakashi suddenly felt weak to his knees. _'Killing Intent...' _His head spun so fast his neck cracked. Looking over at Naruto, he saw him tense up, and his whisker marks darken. From his position he could just barely see his eyes change. He could almost _see _his mask cracking.

"Sakura! Sasuke! Tazuna! Close your eyes! Right _now_!"

"Why-"

_"JUST DO IT!"_

They quickly obliged.

"And plug your ears, too."

"Bu-"

"BELIEVE ME. You don't wanna hear, nor see, what's about to happen."

"...Hai."

Kakashi focoused once again on Naruto.

**"You..." **He began.

"Che." Zabuza sneered, "Cocky brat."

**"I'LL KILL YOU."**

Suddenly Zabuza's eyes widened. What was this? The kid, this kid. He was...!

Naruto took a step closer, his fangs and claws growing.

**"I'LL KILL YOU..."**

"Naruto..." Kakashi tried to coax. "Calm down..."

_**'Asshole...HOW DARE HE...'**_

_**"Kit! Calm down! It's okay!"**_

_**'No...it's not okay...He KILLED AN INNOCENT! I'LL NEVER FORGIVE...I'LL NEVER FORGIVE HIM! I'LL KILL HIM!'**_

_**"Kit, calm down! You're just angry right now! You know you don't mean that!"**_

**"I'LL KILL YOU!"**

It all happened in a blur. In less than five minutes, Zabuza was on the ground in a puddle of his own blood, and Naruto was transformed back.

"Ahh... Kakashi sensei... I really did a number on him, didn't I?"

"Ah."

"But he killed him...I'm stilled mad."

"You have a right to be."

"I'm... going to bury him. Is it alright if I meet you back at the place? I'll send a clone disguised as a fly."

"Iie**(1)**. I think I'll come with you. I'll leave a clone with the others instead."

"Ah. Arigato, Kakashi-sensei."

"Mondainai.**(2)**"

_Quack!_

The two spun so fast they were a blur.

"STARK!" Naruto ran over to his duck while Kakashi removed the others hands from their ears and told them they could open their eyes.

The scene they acquainted with was of Naruto performing intense healing jutsu's on a duck, and Kakashi approaching a now probably dead Zabuza.

Suddenly a senbon was seen flying through the air. No, two-only to land in Zabuza's neck. Suddenly a hunter-nin appeared and thanked them, taking Zabuza away.

The weak and lowly three were confused, but accepted it, figuring it made scense to the others, and it'd be better not to question it.

"He's gunna be okay!" Naruto announced. And everyone smiled. (Even Sasuke! :O)

**END! TBC...**

**I know it's short, but I promise I'll update very soon! I have to read two books by Sep 5th and I've barely even started, so I apologize in advance if I don't have much time and I'm very busy! Gomenasai!**

**REVIEW PLEASE!**

**(1)- iie = no**

**(2)- mondainai = no problem**

**REVIEW PLEASE!**

**IT'LL GIVE ME MOTIVATION AND I'LL UPDATE FASTER!**

**PREVIEW FOR NEXT CHAPTER: DUCK BUTT'S GUNNA KICK YOU IN THE BACK OF THE TOOTH**

**'Till next time!**

**Ja ne!**


	13. Awkward Situations

The Merciless Fox Child Chapter 13:

Awkward Situations

It wasn't long before they reached their destination. Luckily, Sasuke hadn't actually smiled. It was a clone Naruto made for fun (he couldn't resist). The real Sasuke had been tied to a tree about a mile's distance west of their location. Well, _was._ Kakashi made Naruto free him and bring him back. Back at the house, they were pleasantly greeted by Tazuna's daughter, Tsunami.

"I'm bored…"

"Then _do_ something." Sasuke grumbled.

"…No." Sasuke twitched. Anbu or not, he was damn annoying.

"Guys," Kakashi interrupted, "I think it'd be a great idea to use our extra time to train."

"We'll need it." Said Naruto.

"Why?" asked Sakura.

"Because. Zabuza will be back. And that hunter-nin kid, too."

"Eh?"

"Naruto, what are you talking about?" asked Kakashi.

"Yeah, dobe?"

"What, don't tell me you actually thought he was _dead?_"

"Umm…yes?"

"That hunter-nin was a fake. A _real_ hunter-nin would take care of them on the spot."

"And how would you know that, dobe?"

"Hel-LO?! Anbu, here! Remember?"

"Oh, right…"

"You see, hunter-nin are given the special duty of hunting down missing-nin. They completely erase the person they're searching for by means of superior assassination techniques and medical skills. They generally kill their target taking the head as proof, and then completely dispose of the body by using various methods, such as cremation or the summoning of wild carrion crows to devour the corpse. They do this in order to make sure the village secrets which a ninja's body holds – such as chakra types, herbs eaten, ninjutsu, special medicine, and kekkei genkai – will not be revealed to outsiders. Hunter-nin are supposed to destroy the corpse at the very spot the body is lying; it is not to be moved after it is dead, and only the head is taken back to prove that the missing-nin is in fact dead. As a requirement, they must possess a thorough and intimate knowledge of human anatomy. Due to their reputation for utterly and completely obliterating the remains of their targets, they are code-named 'The Undertaker Squad'. All that hunting-nin did is make Zabuza temporarily appear to be dead by hitting certain pressure points in the neck with senbon needles and then shunshin away with him. The end."

"Umm…" Sakura started, "Wow."

"So," Kakashi said, "You actually know more than us…"

"Yup."

"Hm."

"Oh, and he's Zabuza's accomplice."

"WHAT?"

"What?"

"Urgh."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…Did anyone forget we were here?" asked Tazuna.

"Yup, pretty much."

"Hm."

"Training, anyone?"

"Fine."

"Hai, sensei."

"Hn."

"Nooo! The 'hn' returns! Run for your lives!" Naruto grabbed his duck placing it on his head before quickly saying something that made Sasuke fume, before running for his life.

What he said was: "Check it out, Sasu-gay-_chan_! I gots a duck butt, too! :3"

Bum, bum, BUM!

...pagebreaker...

The training was postponed because of Sasuke's extreme desire to murder Naruto, and the fact that Naruto had _gone missing._

Of course, everything turned out fine when Sasuke woke up screaming.

Kakashi and Sakura quickly rushed out of their respective rooms and into the hallway whereas Sasuke's room is, nearly slamming into each other in the process.

"Kakashi-sensei! I heard Sasuke scream!"

Kakashi nodded, "I know, Sakura, me too, that's why we're here-so come on!"

He slammed the door open and was met with...an awkward situation.

"Naruto! Let go of me!" (sasuke)

"Mmm...Good ducky...!" (naruto)

"I'm gunna kill you, wake up NOW!" (Sasuke)

"Mnnyarghhahh..." (naruto)

"Urrrghhhh!" (sasuke)

"Naruto? This is an order from you sensei, wake up now!" (kakashi)

"Naruto-baka, he's mine!" (sakura)

"I'm no one's!" (sasuke)

"Oi! Who's up so early in the morning?" (tazuna)

"Oh my!" (tsunami)

"G-g-gaki?!" (tazuna)

"Naruto-baka!" (sakura)

"Mm...What is it?" (Inari)

"No! He's too young! Shield his eyes!" (tazuna)

"Nooooo!" (Inari)

"It's not like that!" (sasuke)

"Ughh... My students... Why?" (kakashi)

"Naruto, I'm gunna kill you!" (sasuke)

"Naruto, stop petting you teammate's hair! Listen to your sensei!" (kakashi)

"Mmm... Good ducky..." (naruto)

"Quack!" (stark)

**"Shit, is that duck **_**smirking?**_**" (kyuubi)**

"When did Kyuu get here?!" (sasuke)

**"Heh heh heh..." (kyuubi)**

"Nooooooo!" (sasuke)

**"Explosion!" (kyuubi)**

_**BOOM!**_

**TBC...**


	14. Awkward Situations Continued

**Alright, quick author's note.**

**Regarding 'Guest', I apologize, I'm trying to develop a plot, but I keep getting distracted... Though I think I'm coming up with one—so don't worry!**

**As for Freedom its2l8, I explained it in a pm to you. And, if you still don't get it, I believe I explained it in one of the earlier chapters (like 1-5).**

**ThunderNinjaBird, I promise I will try to torture Sasuke more for you... (Sasuke torturing is so much fun! :3) And thank you! :D**

**Clair Aragon. I will, and THANKYOUUUU! :3**

**College 6Jazz... That makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside...! Tankoo! (tats meh cyute way a sayin 'thankyou' :3)**

**SexiFoxxFace. TANKOO SO MUCHHH! AND I WILLSS! SEE?:**

***CAUTION: WHILE READING THIS CHAPTER YOU MIGHT HAVE THE NEED TO PEE PLEASE USE A RESTROOM AND RETURN TO READING AFTER...***

**Word for word! xDD**

**Akatsuki's Foxy Musicion... WTF, indeed... :3**

**kurohime1024: ...YAY...! :3**

**jt: Mmmm... Okay! :)**

**redkamma... You madez me sadd... :'( but dankyoo for reveiwing... (dankyoo is meh otha cyute way a sayin 'thankyou')**

**Okay... So, on to the important stuffs: I'm sorry the last chapter was pretty short—I actually wrote it a long time ago, but I thought it was too short and was going to continue it but I wasn't sure what to write next and I wrote the next part in a note book and then wrote the part after that in **_**another**_** note book, and then I lost the first one, and then I lost the second note book, and then I **_**found **_**the second note book and...yeah. So, I finally figured out what to write next but I didn't want you to wait any longer (plus i loved the 'boom' ending xD) so I just posted what I already had and gave you that to mull over while I wrote the next (this) chapter and, well... here we are! :3**

**Okay, enough rambing, NOW ONTO THE GOOD STUFF!**

**(that wasn't quickk... -_-')**

The Merciless Fox Child

Chapter 14

Awkward Situations Continued

Well... Kyuubi was gone. He had disappeared in a flurry of black, orange and blood red confetti **(an: happy halloween viewers! maybe i'll have a Halloween special or something... hmm...).** Eventually, Naruto squeezed Sasuke so tight he was rendered unconscious, so they just decided to leave them be...

A few hours later, Naruto and Sasuke came down the stairs, with matching massive bed heads—except for Sasuke's duck butt. THE DUCK BUTT LIVES!

Sasuke looked to be fuming—however Naruto was just yawning tiredly/boredly. (Though you could see a hint of a smirk on his face.) Kyuubi and Stark followed soon after, and they looked to be discussing something...

**"I see... So you think it could be a dormant bloodline**?"

_Quack! Quack-quack-quack! Quack-quack!_

**"A kekkei genkai? Really? I must say, that's very interesting..."**

_Quack! Quack-quack-quack! Quack-quack!_

**"You're welcome...So? A distant relative, maybe?"**

_Quack! Quack-quack-quack! Quack-quack!_

**"I see. Do you think there's a second stage?"**

_Quack! Quack-quack-quack! Quack-quack!_

**"I see. That's amazing!"**

**"Hey, duck butt?!"**

_Twitch. _"W-what...?"

The Anbu, jounin instructor, and genin all leaned in close to hear what he had to say.

**"Stark and I were actively discussing a hypothesis we had, and we'd like to hear what you think—if you don't mind."**

"I don't see why not..."

**"Great! We believe that you may have a **_**dormant**_** bloodline! **_**Another**_** kekkei genkai!"**

Kakashi, Sasuke, and Sakura's eyes widened dramatically . Naruto's would have as well, but Kyuu didn't just give him better hearing—he could talk to animals, too! Right now, though, he was struggling to keep a strait face...

"W-what is it?" Kakashi beat Sasuke to the punch.

**"We-ell~, we have decided to call it: 'fowlarse'!"**

"What does it do...?"

**"Well, it seems you already activated the first stage—have it activated constantly actually. But, we believe there may be a second stage. And so, we would like to run a quick test..."**

"Test?" Sasuke asked warily.

**"Yes, but don't worry. It won't hurt...much." (UAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!)**

Kyuu walked over to Sasuke and sat down.

**"Kneel."** he ordered.

Sasuke reluctantly did as told (ordered).

Kyuu slowly lifted his paw as the genin and jounin watch warily, and Naruto and Stark seemingly shook in anticipation. He touched his pointer claw **(an: lol, pointer claw :3)** to Sasuke's forehead, as Sasuke yelped loudly.

**"Done."**

"What was that?!" He demanded.

**"If you really do have a bloodline/kekkei genkai, and a second stage, then I just activated it."**

"W-what? How?"

**"I have my ways..."**

Naruto and Stark sniggered.

WAIT.

Can Stark snigger?

_Ducks_ can _snigger_?

How come he's never heard them do it before?

**"Now, to test it..."**

"How?" asked Kakashi.

**"Simple," Kyuu responded, "Sasuke, would you intently stare at Stark it you please?"**

"...Okay...?"

Sasuke stared at the duck.

...and stared...

...and stared...and stared...

...and stared...and stared...and star-"

_"Sssssup."_

"HOLY SHIT, THE DUCK JUST TALKED!"

_"I prefer my new name, Stark."_

**"He's **_**been **_**talking. Just **_**now **_**you can **_**understand**_** him."**

"I...what? H-how?"

Awkward moments...

**TCB...**

_*****IMPORTANT****IMPORTANT****IMPORTANT*****_

_**SHOULD IT ACTUALLY BE A BLOODLINE/KEKKEI GENKAI OR SHOULD IT JUST BE A GENJUTSU?**_

_**THE AUDIENCE DECIDES!**_


	15. The Duck Dream

**Welcome to Chapter Fifteen! :D**

**PLEASE READ: IMPORTANT…**

**Umm… Oops? I'm sorry for taking so long to update. I was waiting for more people to vote on the whole 'genjutsu or bloodline' thing. Thing is, I can't make a new chapter until I choose. And the poll hasn't been going so well so far… Here are the results as of now:**

**Genjutsu: 7**

**Bloodline: 6**

…**almost a tie. You guys really aren't making this easy on me, you know? Because it's so close, I was trying to wait for there to be a bigger difference, but no matter how long I wait, nothing changes. :T Because of that, I couldn't choose. Therefore, I couldn't make a new chapter. Or, at least that's what I **_**thought.**_** I have indeed discovered a way to make it work—but it won't work for long… So, **_**please,**_** I need more votes!**

The Merciless Fox Child

Chapter 15

Derp

Sasuke hadn't taken the news very well. He had taken it pretty badly in fact. This is why he was now locked away, alone in a tall tower. With a duck. Make that four ducks. Yes, four ducks. Call it, _rehabilitation._

I don't really know why, _just do it._

Anyway, Sasuke was currently crouched in a corner giving one of his best death glares and making himself look tough, while he tried not to wet himself.

"_What's…quack…doing?"_

"_His face…quack…all scrunched up…weird…quack…banana…"_

'_Breath, Sasuke, BREATH!'_

Sasuke took a deep breath… _'This has got to be some freaky dream…' _Sasuke darkened his glare.

"_He…quack…constipated…QUACK!"_

"Ahh!" Sasuke yelped. The ducks sudden loud quack caused him to trip on a bucket and fall into a box with the bucket stuck on his foot.

"_Quack…monkey…quack…"_

"_Haha… señor…loco...duck…quack…"_

"Ow…" Sasuke groaned, climbing out of the box and shaking the bucket off. "Cuso!"

"_BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!"_

Sasuke, confused, looked around. What was so funny? What were they looking a—WAIT. Sasuke looked down.

'…_A-a-a- d-d-d-d-dr-dr-a dr-a DRESS?'_

Sasuke suddenly felt something on his back. Cautiously, he reached his hand back and felt something hairy…WAIT.

He grabbed on it and tugged.

"Ow—FUCK."

He traced the hair back up to his head…only to find it layered. While the bottom layer was super long, it wasn't that that bothered him. What bothered him was the top layer. Because…he…he still… he still had the DUCKBUTT!

"_Quack…looks like…quack…not bad."_

"WHAT?!"

The ducks laugh-quacked.

"_Hahaquackquackhaquackhahahaq uackquackha…"_

"_Kiss me, señor."_

"Wait, _what?"_ asked Sasuke, horrified.

"_Kiss me," _the apparently Spanish duck repeated, _"and you will be saved…"_

"B-but…" he stuttered, "I-I can't! You're a—I'm a—we're—but—"

"—_Shh…"_ he insisted, _"it is the only way… to be SAVED…"_

"B-bu—"

"—_SHHHHH… Señor. DO IT."_

Sasuke clenched his eyes shut and kneeled down puckering his lips. He cracked one eye open to peak.

"A-are you su-?"

"_YES! Now, DO IT señor!"_

Eyes clenched once more, Sasuke leaned in for the kill…

_POOF!_

Sasuke opened his eyes only to see… _A MAN?!_

He gasped, "Where am I?" He had light blond hair blue-violet eyes. He was wearing a high school uniform—WAIT. What's a high school_? 'A public secondary school usually including grades 9 through 12. How do I even KNOW that?! I__t's the apocalypse! WHAT'S AN APOCOLYPSE?!'_

He looked over at Sasuke and his mouth formed an 'o' shape. "What a beautiful maiden here standing before me! May I ask your name, my dear hime-sama?"

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched in anger/annoyance. "I'm not a—"

He suddenly brightened. No, seriously. I meant that literally. "My dearest apologies hime-sama! How rude of me! It is common courtesy to give your own name first! My name is Tamaki Suoh, it's a please to meet you hime. Call me king!"

His fists clenched as he continued to twitch. "I told you I'm not a—"

"—My dearest apologies! You do not _want _to give me your name! Do not worry, hime-sama, you don't have to if you don't want to, but believe me, my dearest, oh, would it make my day!"

He twitched, but begrudgingly told the stranger his name. "…S—Sasuke Uchiha…"

"What a _beautiful _name for a princess!"

_Twitch._ "I'm not a—"

"The spring of my heart surges upon the sight of your fresh smile, my love!"

"—I—"

"_Sigh. _If only I could spend more time with my hime-same… Oh well! Ta-ta!"

Tamaki disappeared with a 'poof'.

He twitched again. "Wha—"

Suddenly Sasuke felt arms wrap around his waist. _"Hime-sama…"_

Sasuke slowly turned his head around only to see… KAKASHI-SENSEI.

"_Kiss me…" _Sasuke was literally frozen as Kakashi leaned in for the kill…

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Sasuke shot up out of bed, panting hard.

"Wha-wha…?!" Sasuke panted. "It was… all just… a dream…?"

"_I see you're up," _said Stark.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Chapter 15: Derp

END

**haha**


	16. Big Bridge Battle: Part 1

**The Merciless Fox Child**

**Chapter Sixteen**

**Big Bridge Battle: Part 1**

"Naruto!"

Naruto woke up with a start, and opened his eyes to see Tsunami's confused face inches from his. "W-Wha…? What happened?" Naruto sat up cracking his back. What was he doing asleep on the floor? Where _was _he? Tsunami frowned.

"I came in here and found you collapsed on the floor…What happened? What were you doing sleeping in Sasuke's room?"

"Sasuke's—OH… Opps… Ehehe…" Tsunami took one look at his devious face and just shook her head.

"You know what? I don't even want to know. Just hurry up, your teammates are already outside, waiting for you. They couldn't find you, so they went ahead. Now, _shoo!"_

"Ma'am, yes, ma'am!" Naruto leapt to his feet and ran outside as fast as he could.

Which was pretty fast.

On his way out, he grabbed Stark. Kyuu had gone back into the recesses of his (Naruto's) mind for some peace and quiet. Stark had been quaking up a storm lately, and it seems he had just had enough. According to Kyuu, Naruto thinking wouldn't be a problem noise wise, because he was too stupid to think, anyway. So, for the next hour and a half Naruto had sung 'the song that never ends' again and again and again… Till Kyuu got pissed and started rawring—he didn't stop until Naruto stopped. But by then they had both got massive headaches, and just decided to settle on a temporary truce.

Naruto carefully placed Stark on his head, and walked over to his team.

"Took you long enough," growled Sakura. Geez, apparently it doesn't take long for an idiot genin to forget it's not a happy-go-lucky idiot she's talking to, but an elite Anbu—best of the best—Anbu fox, the 'Merciless Fox Child'. _Bitch._

"_**Tell me about it…"**_

'_Kyuu?'_

"_**Who else, kit?"**_

"Where were you?" Sakura growled.

"Oh, shut up pissy bitch." Naruto dismissed her, just passing her by on his way over to Kakashi-sensei.

Sakura stuttered, "Wha-wha…"

"_**Ooh, BURN…"**_

'…_Did you really just say that.'_

"…_**one word and I swear…"**_

'_Yeah, yeah, you big furball.'_

"_**Che."**_

Naruto glared at her. "You seem to forget I'm not the happy-go-lucky idiot you once thought I was. I'm not just an elite anbu, but a captain, and a good one at that. Use your brain—you've got it for a reason. They don't just give you a nickname like 'the Merciless Fox Child of the Anbu' for sittin' around eatin' cupcakes all day."

"Anyway," interrupted Kakashi, "may I ask, where _were _you?"

Before Naruto could answer him, however, Sasuke interrupted. "_Sleeping._"

Naruto nursed the throbbing lump on the back of his head. "Yeah…_Sleeping._" He growled.

Kakashi looked back and forth between the two and sighed, scratching the back of his head. "Do I really want to know?"

Naruto and Sasuke both shook their heads in unison. "You really don't."

**(WHAT **_**ACTUALLY **_**HAPPENED: Naruto had been influencing Sasuke's dream with a jutsu, and when Sasuke suddenly woke up, he startled Naruto, causing him to trip backwards, banging his head into the wall, and knocking him out in the process.)**

"So what are we doing here, anyway?" he asked, turning toward Kakashi.

It was Sasuke that answered again. "Training. Don't freak out dobe, but Kakashi-sensei believes that Zabuza—"

"—Is still alive? I know."

Kakashi, Sasuke, and Sakura started. "H-How…?"

Sasuke took his hands from his pockets and crossed his arms. "Did you know that that hunter-nin—"

"—wasn't really a hunter-nin? Yes." Naruto crossed his arms as well.

"And that he—"

"—is Zabuza's apprentice? You bet." He smirked.

Sasuke frowned further. "Did you know that they're—"

"—coming back? Hell yeah."

"And we're here to—"

"—train so we'll be ready when he does? You tell me."

"And that what Kakashi-sensei is teaching us is—"

"—tree walking. _Yup._"

"Then why did you ask—?"

"—what we're doing here? I dunno."

"Y-you…" he twitched, "Argh!"

_**TBC…**_

**I PROMISE TO UPDATE SOON! KEEP ON VOTING FOR GENJUTSU OR BLOODLINE!**

**ALSO, IN REGARDS TO THE CHUNIN EXAMS…**

**PLEASE VOTE FOR ONE IN A REVIEW OR PM…**

**NARUTO ENTERS, FIGHTS, AND WINS.**

**NARUTO ENTERS, AND REVEALS HIS STRENGTH DURING A FIGHT.**

**NARUTO IS NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE THE EXAMS BECAUSE HE IS AN ANBU, AND IS REPLACED IN THE EXAM BY SAI. NARUTO'S STRENGTH IS ALSO REVEALED. (PROBABLY NOT THE ANBU PART—JUST THE PART ABOUT HIM BEING STRONGER THAN A JONIN.**

**THANK YOU! PLEASE R&R! THANK YOU!**


	17. Crack in the Fourth Wall

The Merciless Fox Child

Chapter 17 (Damn, never thought I'd get this far… Shit I'm in deep):

Crack in the Fourth Wall

Naruto sat bored in a tree, as Sasuke and Sakura kept running up trees only to fall again, and again, and _again. _He'll admit it was funny at first, watching them fall flat on their asses, but it got boring quickly. Okay, not really. Took a while, about an hour and a half. Then it got a little boring.

And oh, look, Cockura finally got it. She's always had exceptional chakra control, but that's really only because she's got a more pathetic chakra reserve than even a toddler. Or a Chihuahua. Yeah, a Chihuahua. That's a perfect example, actually. She's like a little Chihuahua. A little annoying Chihuahua. All bark and no bite. Just yaps all day giving you a headache, got a temper shorter than her pinky nail, is very…_pink_. And quite honestly, you just gotta pretend to like, even though you really just want to kick it…or something.

Sasugay looks really pissed.

SASUGAY IS NOT AMUSED.

Sorry, had to.

Now, he's really bored. So he gets up, jump down to the ground, salutes to Sasuke, who fumes, and goes for a stroll. Once he's deep into the woods in the back, he finds a clearing, with beautiful flowers, and sits down for a nap.

He's awoken by a noise, about a mile northwest (see my reference?), and waits feigning sleep until a girl—no, boy—enters the clearing. His eyes are just barely cracked open, too little to be visible, as the boy approaches him. He sees the glinting of a knife, no, not a knife, as the boy looks at him, from close up. It's put away, and he gently shakes his shoulders. Naruto slowly widens his eyes to a normal opening, and yawns.

"You'll catch cold."

"Swiggidy swasket, what's in the basket?"

She—he, paused. "Wh…What?"

"Swiggidy swender, what's yo real gender?"

His jaw hung open, "Ah—ah…"

"Swiggidy swoin', what a' yo doin'?"

"I—you—"

"Swiggidy swater, I'll see you later."

"I…" He watched as the 'hunter-nin' slowly got up, grabbed his basket, and ran.

"Swiggidy swot-it, I still got it."

Naruto climbed down the stairs into the kitchen and grabbed some milk. He then casually drank the whole thing, crumbled the container, and tossed it into the trash. He grabbed a stack of frozen waffles from the freezer, and walked into the area where the door is. He saw Inari on the floor with his mother, kunai aimed on them. Taking the frozen waffles, he threw them at the two thugs, so hard he cracked their skulls. They fell unconscious on the ground.

"So… Where are Sasugay, Cockura, and Bakashi?"

"Wha…the bridge…But wait—"

She blinked. He was gone.

Naruto arrived on the bridge to see Sakura about to shit herself, Tazuna in a similar position, Kakashi facing off with Zabuza, and Sasuke, Haku. Looks like he was gunna have to mess shit up, change the tides a little. So he marched right over to the ice dome, and brought his wrath down unto it. It shattered and fell like rain, Haku down with it. Sasuke looked up in confusion, until he noticed him. Confusion soon changed to horror, as Naruto suddenly appeared next to Haku, taking his throat into the palm of his hand. "Swiggidy sworry, I'm really sorry," he whispered into his ear.

Haku smiled, "S-swiggidy sweapon, was I a good weapon?"

He smiled gently back, "Swiggidy swes, yes. Swiggidy swoo, I can tell he loves you."

"Swiggidy swooth, is that the truth?"

"Yes." He snapped his neck, nice and clean, painless as possible. "You were a good kid. A good weapon. Rest peacefully."

Sasuke could only stare as Naruto marched strait over to Kakashi and Zabuza's fight, katana in hand. They paused upon noticing him, and Sasuke could've sworn he saw Zabuza shiver. He completely abandoned Kakashi, and went straight over to Naruto. He screamed, as he ran at him at full speed, frantically making signs. Naruto vanished seconds before they collide, only to reappear behind Zabuza, and stab him clean through. He turned to water, and Naruto spun to swipe at the real Zabuza, who had went to grab for his neck from behind.

He tripped Naruto, but Naruto was quick the turn the tides, and retaliated by stabbing his katana into Zabuza's foot as he fell, and pulled himself up before he could hit the ground. Zabuza screamed, and he ripped it from his foot, swiping it at him again. Zabuza dodged, but grabbed the katana, and tore it from his hands, spinning it round to point back at its owner, driving it through his chest before he could retaliate. Naruto hung limp, as he slowly lifted his head to look at his death bringer.

He smirked. "Baaaaka."

He exploded in smoke as the real Naruto slammed the side of his hand into the back of Zabuza's neck. He fell.

Across the bridge, a fat bastard appeared, an army of poorly paid thugs behind him—Gato.

Gato smiled wide, like an ugly hyena. "Th—"

Naruto smiled back, wiping his face with his hand, but only succeeding in spreading blood across his face.

"Do he got a booty," he whispered.

He crouched, and then shot off in his direction. Zabuza screamed bloody murder, and turn to run, tripping and landing on his knees, rapidly crawling away from him.

"He dooooo…!" He grabbed Gato by the ankle, and dragged him to the edge by the water. The thugs just watching, having already been paid, and giving no shit really about what happened to him. He let go of his ankle to grab his neck, and shoved his head into the water, ripped him up just before the drowned, spit into his face, and then snapped his neck, nodding to the hired muscle. Who immediately left.

"So who's up for pizza?"

Naruto sat in his bed, sliding his finger lazily over a glass surface, on a strange device, small and sleek.

Bakashi came into the room, after knocking, and approached him.

"What're you doin'?"

"Shit," answered Naruto.

He nodded. "And what's that?"

"Something that should never be put into the hands of an anime character, lest they discover some major spoiler alerts."

Kakashi went to say something, but just shook his head. "Nevermind." He walked out of the room, to go take a nap. He was getting to old for this shit.

_**TBC…**_

**Keep voting! And if you have your own idea for the chunin exams, PLEASE TELL ME!**

**Thanks for reading!**

'**Til next time!**

**Ja ne!**


	18. Chunin Exams: To Enter or Not to Enter

**Chapter 18 - Mini-Chap**

**To Enter or Not to Enter**

_-insert time skip-_

Finally back at the village, Team 7 was told by Bakashi-sensei, that they were to be entered in the Chunin Exams. Fun.

Time to speak to the Hokage...

"Ojiji!" Naruto called, falling in through the open window. He got up, only to find the room completely void of people, besides himself.

"Hn."

**'It returns!'**

'Shh! Stupid fox..'

**'Jerk.'**

'Bitch.'

Naruto walked silently to the Hokage's desk, seating himself in the Hokage's chair, and placing the abandoned Hokage hat atop his non-Hokage head.

**'Kekeke...'**

Seconds later, the Hokage entered, sake in hand, only to drop it when he caught sight of Naruto, chillax'in with his feet up on the desk.

"Naruto..." He growled.

"Yo, old man. I came here to talk to you."

"Hmm?" He said distractedly, calming himself down, as a shinobi cleaned up the mess of sake and glass on the floor. "About what?"

"The Chunin Exams."

The Hokage sighed, "Right." He walked over to his desk and tipped Naruto out of his chair.

"-OW!" He clutched the hat on his head tight, "You're not getting this back!"

**'-hah!'**

Sarutobi made a grab for it, but Naruto quickly rolled out of range. He sighed, and took a seat in his old chair, deciding to let it go for now.

"You know I'll get it back eventually..."

"Says you!"

"Right," he sighed, AGAIN, "So, about the Chunin Exams..."

"Am I entering? I mean, technically I'm already an ANBU, but I never actually took any of the official, PUBLIC, exams."

"It's your choice. You don't have to if you don't want to." He took a breath, "If you choose not to enter, you will be replaced by Sai, and assigned as a proctor or examiner. Either way, it's up to you."

"Hmm... Hard decision."

'If only there was someone to help me decide. Like, a bunch of people who've been watching for a while now.'

**'Yes, yes, and perhaps they could, together, decide, through popular vote.'**

'Yes, yes, I see it now! And they could maybe tell me through some sort of review or private messaging system.'

'**Yes, if only.'**

'Sighs. Yes, IF ONLY.'

**A/N: I SWEAR IF YOU DIDNT GET THAT HINT-**

**(There is a poll on my profile. CHECK IT OUT.)**


	19. Chunin Exams Part One

**The Merciless Fox Child**

**Chapter 19**

**Chunin Exams Part One**

Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, and Kyuubi skipped through the halls of the Chunin-Exam-taking-place. Whatever it's called. Well, Naruto and Kyuubi did. Sakura and Sasuke were too stupid to skip. Hah, _LOSERS_. Eventually they arrived at a door where a bunch of Genin were fighting. Naruto and Kyuu quickly noticed the genjutsu, Sakura noticing shortly after, and proceeded to throw shoes at the heads of the people fighting. Not their shoes of course, _no way_, they just stole some poor Genins' shoes. Said Genins were currently quivering in the corner. Let's just say the manner in which they took their shoes couldn't exactly be considered _normal_, per se.

But anyway, the Genins who were trying to get in the blocked door, as well as the Genins blocking it, turned to glare at Naruto. The other Genin, just kind of stared with their mouths opened. Naruto called out, "Hey idiots! You do realize you're on the wrong floor, right? Or did that pathetic Genjutsu really fool ya bunch of fucktards?" Now even the previously-fighting-Genins' mouths had dropped wide open. Sasuke, Sakura, and Kyuu were used to it for the most part, sothey were pretty much unaffected.

Naruto made a sign and whispered, "Kai!" to himself. The Genjutsu dissolved, and the majority stared at the sign, feeling like utter idiots. One of the previously-fighting-Genins, who had long hair and white eyes, whom Naruto was unsure of the gender of, turned to glare at Naruto.

"You idiot," he spat, "we knew that already. It was a test to weed out the weaker Genin."

"Oh, I know." He smirked.

The Genin Naruto now knew to either be a male or a fairly masculine female, frowned, looking down at Naruto. "If you knew that, then why did you announce it out loud for all to hear?"

"Hah," Naruto laughed, "if they were too stupid to figure out that was a Genjutsu, then it doesn't really matter if they enter or not. They won't really be any competition. If anything, they might even help! Having so many weak competitors! And if they're really that pathetic, they'll be weeded out in the first challenge." His smirk returned, "A real question would be, if you knew it was a Genjutsu, then why the hell were you wasting time with these idiots, when you could've just slipped by on up to the real room? What do you have to say to that?"

Girl-boy choked, "I-I..." Bushy-brows and Bun-girl looked on in horror as their teammate was left speechless. "Shut up!" Girl-boy grumbled, stomping away quickly, embarrassment shown in the way he walked, as Bushy-brows and Bun-girl stood frozen in place.

"Well?" Said Naruto.

"W-wha...?"

"You better catch him before the exams start."

They blinked, their eyes widening, and ran off in the direction Girl-boy was last seen headed towards. Bushy-brows stopped suddenly and turned around. "You! What's your name?!" He called out.

Naruto blinked. 'Well that's new.' "Naruto! Uzumaki Naruto!"

Bushy-brows smiled wide, "My name is Rock Lee! Let's spar some time, Naruto-kun!"

Naruto smiled, "I'd love to, Lee!"

Lee beamed, "Yosh! See you in the exam room, Naruto-kun! Your youthful-ness shines bright!" After saying that, he took off as a green blur.

'Well...that was interesting.'

**"Looks like you're finally getting noticed. He didn't notice the last Uchiha standing next to you."**

'Huh...You're night. He didn't.' Naruto couldn't help but feel a swell of warmth-ness and pride in his chest at that. 'Looks like things are finally starting to go my way.'

**To Be Continued...**


	20. Chunin Exams Part Two

**The Merciless Fox Child**

**Chapter 20**

**Chunin Exams Part Two**

Sakura gasped as they entered the room with all the other Genin. "W-what's this?!"

The hall was crowded with around a hundred Genin of all shapes and sizes. And colors. Seriously, Naruto could've sworn he saw a pink guy. Not someone with pink hair like Sakura, no, _literally_ a _pink guy._ He shivered.

"Sasuke-kun!" screeched a familiar voice, "You're late!" A purple and bleach-blonde blob latched itself onto Sasuke from behind. Sakura merely raised an eyebrow, having gotten over her Sasuke-crush sometime in the weeks following her introduction to the team. Finding out Naruto was ANBU certainly didn't help, either.

"Um, Ino?" said Sakura. Ino looked up, confuzzled at the lack of a "-pig" added to the end of her name.

"Forehead?"

Sakura raised an eyebrow, "Mind getting off my teammate? You're making him uncomfortable."

Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji's eyes widened.

"U-uhm... Uh, o-okay...?" She slowly let go and walked out from behind Sasuke, horribly confused.

Sakura smiled thankfully, "Thanks."

Sasuke nodded gratefully to Sakura his thanks.

"Yahoo!" They heard someone call, "Found you!"

They turned around to see Kiba, Shino, and Hinata approaching.

"Well well well, everyone is assembled," said Kiba.

"H...Hello..." Hinata stuttered.

"I see..." Kiba said, "All nine of this year's rookie Genin are taking the exam." He looked over at Sasuke, "I wonder how far we will get...eh, Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke tilted his head a ways and crossed his arms, "I dunno... There are a lot of more experienced Genin also taking this test. If we do pass this test, I doubt it's exactly going to be a walk in the park." Sasuke had also changed since he became a part of Naruto's team. These very changes left Kiba stuttering and tripping over his words. He had expected a retort, like, 'pfft, you seem confident, Kiba', but not _this_. This actual serious answer. All the Konoha Genin save the members of Team 7, we're left gaping once again. "What?"

"N-nothing..." Kiba stuttered, confused.

They all turned around at the sound of an unfamiliar voice. "Hey you guys, you should be more quiet."

Naruto gaped at the old man. "You guys are rookies just out of the academy, right?" he said, "Geez, screaming like school-girls...this isn't a picnic, you know?" All Naruto could focus on was his silvery hair. "I'm Kabuto. But instead of that, look behi-GAHH!"

He shouted as Naruto suddenly latched onto him, "What the-?"

"What the fuck are you doing, Jiji?!"

"Wha-?!" The Genin gaped.

"I admire your persistence and determination, but you're just not cut out for Chunin biz! If you were, you would've passed when you were still in your prime!" He began tugging on Kabuto's arm. "Now c'mon, before the Chunin Exams start! You have to leave, ojiji!" He opened the door.

"-NO-WAIT-I'M NOT-!"

Naruto ignored him. "I'm sorry, but this is for your own good! The Chunin Exams are too dangerous for a frail old man like you!" He shoved Kabuto out and slammed the door in his face just before the doors locked, marking the time limit for accepting applicants.

The entirety of the hall was left silent. The other Genin besides the Konoha Rookies slowly started up their chatter once more. Now that their attention was finally on Naruto, the Konoha Rookies noticed a fox kit sitting on/curled around Naruto's shoulder. It glared at them.

**"Took them long enough."**

Kiba stuttered, "What's that?"

**"I'm a 'what' now?!"**

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "It's a fox... You know, you've got Akamaru there, and I've got Kurama here."

"O-oh.." he said, "Cool."

Naruto smiled.

"QUIET DOWN YOU WORTHLESS BASTARDS."

A large group of people appeared in the hall. All of them wore matching outfits, except for Scarface that stood in the front-he had a leather jacket on top of his uniform.

"Thanks for waiting..." he said, "I am Morino Ibiki, the examiner for the Chunin Selection Exam's first test."

**To Be Continued...**


	21. Chunin Exams Part Three

**The Merciless Fox Child**

**Chapter 21**

**Chunin Exams Part 3**

Naruto looked around at the other Genin all taking the test. About half of them were trying fruitlessly to answer the questions. The rest were trying to cheat, while some were actually proctors in disguise, set up to give the Genin someone to cheat from. Out of the ones cheating, a large amount were failing miserably.

They were either unable to cheat, or were one by one quickly being caught. Naruto laughed to himself. Hardly any were going to pass by the looks of it. Few actually succeeded in cheating. Among them was a red-headed sand Genin, with black eyeliner and blue-green eyes. Naruto looked back at his turned over test. Really, the questions weren't that hard. But then again, he wasn't exactly a Genin. For a Genin, he supposed, answering these questions would be near impossible, even for a Chunin!

He picked up his pen and began doodling on the turned over test. He had already finished it-he didn't even need to cheat. In the picture he was doodling, it showed a chibi form of Kyuubi trying to catch butterflies. He giggled when Kyuu pawed at his head in annoyance.

'What's the matter, Kyuu-chan?'

**'Fuck you, kit."**

'But you're the kit now, aren't you?'

**'Che! Fucking clodpole!'**

'..._what_?'

**'What?'**

'Wha...what did you just say?'

**'What do you mean 'what did you just say'? I just said, 'what'!'**

'No no no, what did you just call me?'

**'What?'**

'Clodpole-you-you, you just called me '_clodpole_'!'

**'What?'**

'Y-you know what? J-just, forget it.'

**'Oookaaay...'**

'_Sigh_.'

**'Kekeke...'**

'What?'

**'You said 'sigh' again...kikiki...'**

'_Gahhh_...'

Returning to the real world, Naruto saw he still had a large amount of time to wait for the tenth question. Suddenly coming up with an idea, he quickly made a few bunshin and disguised them as test papers lying on his desk. He then used kawarimi to switch his bunshins with some of the other Genins' papers. He subtly crumbled the test papers into balls, and made another bunshin disguised as a slingshot. Quickly loading the slingshot, he launched it into the air.

Ibiki's eye twitched when the paper hit him on the cheek. A few Chunin examiners noticed, at first, but by the third and fourth, most of the Genin had noticed as well. Naruto quickly took this chance to make Kyuu three more bodies of the same visual age. The chibi Kyuu's were quick to spread out. One landed on Sakura's shoulder, another on Sasuke's and the last landed on Hinata's. Hinata and the others jumped when they felt him.

_-with Sakura-_

"K-Kyuu?!" she whispered, "What-?!"

**"Shh!" he whispered, "Shut up, stupid-girl!"**

"Wha-?!"

**"I'm here to help you cheat, so shut up and let me help. Now listen closely..."**

_-with Sasuke-_

**"Yo, Uchiha."**

"Wha-?"

**"Shut up and listen. Naruto sent me to help you guys cheat. Now listen closely, and be sure to write all this down if you want full credit..."**

_-with Hinata-_

"-eek-"

Kyuu quickly covered her mouth with his paw.** "Hush."**

Her eyes widened at his voice. "Y-y-y-y-you-"

He sighed, **"Yes, I can talk, now be quiet. I'm going to tell you the answers for the test."**

"N-N-Naru-Naruto-k-kun, h-he," she stuttered.

**"Yes, now listen carefully..."**

_-back with Naruto-_

Once they all had all the answers copied down, Naruto dispelled the extra Kyuu-bunshins, as well as his paper-bunshins. He heard several Genins call out in dismay as their test papers vanished. Their teams and them were quickly ushered out of the hall.

Naruto passed the time by socking Kyuu on the other Genin. Many Genin were disqualified when they shouted out in dismay at having their toes gnawed on. Kyuu also knocked Akamaru off Kiba's head, and pounced on Gaara's eye, but they were lucky enough not to be disqualified.

"Okay," Ibiki's voice rang around the entire hall, "we will now start the tenth question."

**To Be Continued...**


	22. Chunin Exams Part Four

**\(O/_\O)\**

**The Merciless Fox Child**

**Chapter 22: Chunin Exams Part 4**

**/(O/_\O)/**

* * *

><p>"Know this," he said. "Any one who answered incorrectly will not only be disqualified - but heshe will never be permitted to enter in the Chunin Exams ever again. Make your decision now. Anyone who would rather leave now and retake the exam later, may leave - but the rest of your team must leave also. Choose wisely, peasants."

_'D-did he...? Did he just call us peasants?'_

"**Yuuuuuuuuupp."**

"I will repeat this only once more, you fucking maggots—so you better listen up!"

_'H-he just...nevermind.'_

"You have _two _options, _**Two.**_ Got it? Good.

"Option number one...answer the question. But if you answer wrong, you can never take these damn exams ever again!

"Option number rwo. You get the fuck out and hope for better luck next time...

"...you've got ten seconds. Oh, and fuck you. Now, _RUN! _Fucking maggots..."

It took less than seven to clear out 75% of the room. The last 24% (1% = Naru-chan) were half up, looking pretty torn. Suddenly, Naruto stood up, and raised his hands high.

"I HAVE A QUESTION."

"_Whadaya want, kid?!"_

"WHAT IF I GOTTA PEE."

"Then _fucking hold it._"

"WHAT IF I _REALLY _GOTTA PEE."

"_Hold it._"

"BUT WHAT IF I _CAN'T _HOLD IT—"

"_You can hold it."_

"BUT WHAT IF I'M ABOUT TO FUCKING PISS MYSELF—"

"—FINE JUST FUCKING GO ALREADY YOU DAMN GAKI—"

"—Oh, I don't have to go."

"But you—!?"

"It was just a rhetorical question, Ibiki-sensei."

"Y-you..."

He banged his head on the chalkboard. "I give up, I'm never proctoring one of these damn exams ever again. I've learned my lesson, just..._shut up._"

"Why?"

_Bang._

"Ibiki-sensei? Is something wrong?"

"I." _Bang. _"Hate." _Bang._"Children." _BANG._

"Well, that's not a very nice thing to say."

"Shut up."

"Why?"

"Please just shut up."

"Why?"

"Please."

"Please, what?"

"I'm begging you."

"Why?"

"I, Ibiki, head of Torture and Investigation, _am begging you._"

"Why?"

_Bang._

"Why won't you just shut up?"

"I dunno. Why're ya askin' me?"

"Please shut up...?"

"But I don't waaannaaa..."

"Fuck! SHUT UP!"

"Nahhh..."

"I hate you."

"I love you, too, hun!"

_Bang._

"Why me...?"

"'Cause I loooveee yooouuu..."

_**\(O/_\O)/**_

* * *

><p><em>Meanwhile, elsewhere...<em>

* * *

><p><em><strong>\(O_\O)/**_

It wasn't that long after Ibiki's and Naruto's bickering (torture) began, that Stark decided to make an appearance. On Sasuke's head. He then proceeded to slowly slide to the front of Sasuke's head until he fell off, and plopped right into Sasuke's lap.

_Twitch._

"Duck."

_Twitch._

"DUCK."

_Twitch._

"FUCKING DUCK."

"Hmm...?"

"Get off my lap, or I'll fucking kill you."

"No, you won't."

_Twitch. _"Yes, I will."

"Um, _no_, you won't,"

"Yes, I will."

"No, you won't."

"Yes, I will."

"No, you won't."

"Yes, I will."

"No, you won't."

"Yes, I will."

"No, you won't."

"Yes, I will."

"No, you won't."

"Yes, I will."

"No, you won't."

"Yes, I will."

"No, you won't."

"Yes, I will."

"No, you won't."

"Yes. I. _Will._"

"No, you really won't."

"Just, get off!"

Everyone in the room—sans the currently arguing Ibiki and Naruto—turned to look at the now furiously blushing _Uchiha Sasuke-kun._

Aka, Mr. Duckbutt.

"Can't you even say '_please'_?"

"_Arghh!_"

_**\(O/_\O)/**_

* * *

><p><em>Now, back to the two strongest—<strong>AHEM!<strong>_**—**er, THREE strongest in the room...

* * *

><p><strong>\(O_\O)/**

"Sirius is _way _cooler!"

"As if! Mad-Eye could win any day!"

"Uh, _no._ Padfoor's better."

"No, _Moody._"

"Yeah, he's 'moody', alright..."

"_Hey!_ Don't dis my man!"

"Yo, Sirius Black _escaped Askaban._ First guy to ever do it."

"Have you even _seen _Moody's scars?!"

"He was beat and impersonated by some lousy unknown poor excuse for a twig of a wizard!"

"Yeah, well that _unknown twig—_escaped Askaban!"

"So?"

"_So?!_"

"—Er, sensei?" Sakura _rudely _interrupted, "What about the tenth question?"

"What?—OH, _that._ You all pass."

"What—?!"

"That was the tenth question. To puss out or to take it like a man. You all stayed. Hence, you pass—_unfortunately..._"

"Yes!" she _screeched_, punching the air above her.

"Shut up, you fucking flamingo."

"I thought she was more of a chihuahua..."

"Oh yeah...I see it now..."

"_HEY!_"

"Shut up, Pinkie-bitch."

"I-I..." She flushed.

"Oh, now she's red! What's pink and red?"

"Her?"

"Hah! OH!—wait, I got it—"

_CRASH!_

"WHAT'S UP, BITCHES? IT'S YOU BIG SISTER ANKO HERE READY TO ROCK YOUR MOTHERFUCKING WORLD! ARE YOU READY FOR THE SECOND STAGE OF THE CHUNIN EXAMS, MY MUFFINS?"

"Muffins—?"

"Yeah, _muffins, _BIATCHES, But listen up all my bitches—you may be motherfucking muffins but I'm a GODDAMN CUPCAKE, YA GOT THAT?"

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued...<strong>

**End of chapter 22. **

**Sorry for for the long wait. My dad took a year to fix the screen on my laptop, and when he finally did—by that time I had lost inspiration. I have tried a number of times to write this chapter, and I hope it didn't turn out too bad. If this goes according to plan, you can expect a lot more updates, and much more frequent. **

**R&R!**

**Love you all!**

**Ja ne!**

* * *

><p><em><span><strong>Byakko D. Loki<strong>_


	23. Chunin Exams Part Five

**Eheheheheh...err, Merry Christmas?****_ -shoves fanfic at you- -runs for _****_motherfucking life_****_-_**

****\O/_\O/****

**What in the fuck happened to this? I mean, this ****_used_**** to be good - at least, I think it was...I hope...? Now, though, I don't know what happened to it. It basically turned to shit. And now, here I am, stuck at the hard part - one of the hard parts - and I've got serious (absolutely terrible) writer's block. Gahh, kill me. So, yeah - apologies if this majorly sucks - I'm tryin' my best here, alright? My writer's block seems to be never ending, and so I figured I might as well ****_try_****, rather than just leave it abandoned. I mean, what've I got to lose?**

**\O/_\O/**

**The Merciless Fox Child**

**Chapter 23**

**Chunin Exams Part Five**

**\O/_\O/**

"Yo, my motherfucking muffins! My name is Anko, and I'll be your proctor for the second exam, ya hear?!"

"Hai, Cupcake-sama!"

"Good! That's what I like to hear! Now all ya Muffin-Fucktards, meet me at the Forest of Death, 'kay?"

"Hai, Cupcake-sama!"

"Good! See ya there!"

"Hai, Cupca - _wait, did she say the __**Forest of Death**__?!"_

"Yeah, she did." Their attention refocused on Ibiki when he spoke. "You fuckin' maggots better not be regretting your decision, now..."

"O-o-o-of c-c-course-e n-not, I-Ibiki-sa-sama!"

"Heh, I love children..."

"I thought you hated children?"

Ibiki froze, and slowly turned his head in the direction from which the voice had originated.

_Naruto_.

Ibiki stared at him for a second, before turning around and starting to bang his head repeatedly against the chalkboard.

"I. Hate. My. Life."

"Aw, it's okay Proctor-chan...I'll always be here for you!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooo...!"

**_**\O/_\O/**_**

**_Later, at the Forest of Death..._**

**\O/_\O/**

"Alright, have you all got your little scrolls, Muffins?"

"Hai, Cupcake-sama!"

"Excellent! You fuckers ready to begin?!"

_Silence_.

_Twitch_.

"I don't give a shit whether or not you want to, because you're gunna! It's too late to back out now, bitches! Now get yer asses at the damn gates! Go, go, _GO_!"

**\O/_\O/**

_**Inside the Forest...**_

_****\O/_\O/****_

"Alright, pathetic Genin - gather 'round!"

"Oi, dobe, you're a Genin, too-"

"No, no I'm not. Idiot."

"Ch-che!"

"Uhuh. _Anyway_, first thing's first. Anyone in this forest can perform a simple transformation jutsu - and some, _really_ elaborate transformation jutsus - so, we're gunna come up with a question and an answer, to determine if we're who we say we are."

"But-"

"Shut up, idiot. Anyway, like I was saying-"

"But we already-"

"_Shut_. _Up_. Fucking _idiots_..."

"Che. Dobe."

"_Anyway_... Here's the question and answer: 'How many hearts would you expect a time-traveling alien to have?' 'Two. The real question is, Doctor _who_'? Got it?"

"That's stupid, dobe. What about - "

"-No."

"You didn't even-!"

"-_No_."

"Che!"

"Oh, hey, where's the flamingo?"

"What?!"

A rustle in the bushes alerted them to movement on their right.

"Who's there?" Naruto growled.

"Calm down, baka..." said a feminine voice, "it's just me."

Out of the bushes sauntered Sakura.

"Where were you?!" Naruto demanded.

"Relax, I just had to go to the bathroom real quick." She smiled at him confidently, and his eyes narrowed.

"How many hearts would you expect a time-traveling alien to have?"

Sasuke snapped his head to Naruto, "Idiot, she wasn't here when you chose that question-"

"Oh, it's fine," she smirked, "I wasn't that far away - I heard." Her smirk widened, and she adjusted her position before continuing. "Ahem - two. The real question is, Doctor _who_?" Having recited it perfectly, she began to walk over. That is, until a kunai pierced her chest.

"Baaakaaa," Naruto dragged out, "that wasn't the real question. Boohoo. I chose the real question before we even entered the arena. How stupid do you think we - _I_ - am? I understand _them_, but _me_? Nuhuh." Naruto flipped 'em the bird, before dragging her up by her collar, and holding her up for anyone to see.

"Bring me my bitchy pink teammate, and any scrolls you might have if you want your teammate to live."

_Silence_.

"What, think I'm not serious? I don't even have to do anything to them - if they don't get medical treatment soon, they _will_ die."

Sasuke watched in silence. (For once.)

"But just to show you I'm serious..." Naruto reached around to the kunai in the enemy ninja's chest, and grabbed it, sharply twisting it. Blood came pouring out, and the helpless Genin let out a blood curdling scream.

"Okay, okay!" Came shouts from the forest brush. "Here!" Two boys came stumbling out of the hedges and brush, an unconscious Sakura on one of their shoulders. The other held two scrolls, which he then proceeded to toss in their direction. The rolling scrolls came to a stop just before their feet. The second male - the one carrying Sakura - gently settled her down and backed away.

Naruto tossed the injured teammate at them, and they easily caught her, before scrambling away.

"Let's see what we got here...huh. Just what we needed."

Naruto held up the two Earth scrolls, and the one Heaven scroll. "Looks like we're good. Next stop: Center-place thingy, where your go when you've got your scrolls - oh, whatever! You know what I'm talking about! Now where the hell is it?!"

Sasuke and the newly-awoken Sakura couldn't help but giggle. "Shut up!" Naruto snarled, blushing furiously.

Inside his mind, the Kyuubi cackled wholeheartedly.

**\O/_\O/**

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**Ja ne!**_


	24. CEP6: Devil's Pet Duck

**_Okay, geez, fi~ne._ [ pouts ] You know, I really don't get why you all are so bothered about me continuing this story - it's TERRIBLE...?! Ugh, god, I'm almost tempted to redo this entire mess. Whatever, fine, just 'cause you all are so bothered over this, I'll continue - just for you guys. S'pose that one Guest's review was really the tipping point. For reference, here's the review that finally brought you guys this new chapter:**

**_":FINISH THE STORY U MADE CALLED 'The Merciless Fox Child' I AM F*** DYING OVER HERE JUST WAITING FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER IDC ABOUT THE OTHERS STORIES, JUST PLZ FINISH THAT F*** AMAZING FANFICTION, PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ PLZ, I AM A CRAZY PHSCOTIC B*** AND I AM BEGGING U! AHAHAHAH HEH HEH MUAHAHA DO IT NOW OR I SHALL HUNT U DOWN AND MURDER U HAHAHAHA! Dude, srsly. FINISH the fanfiction or I will, murder, you. JK! PLZ finish the fic tho. PS I am actually crazy just soz u know... PLZ FINISH THE FIC!"_**

**So, three cheers for that Guest. Good job, Anon. You did it. [ pats back ] [ pumps fist in air ]**

**( Apologies if it sucks - I warned ya. )**

**- Byakko Loki**

* * *

><p><strong><span>The Merciless Fox Child<span>**

**Chapter 24**

**Chunin Exam Part Six: Devil's Pet Duck**

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><p>"You're lost."<p>

"I'm not lost."

**"Kit, you're lost."**

_"I'm not fucking lost!"_

Naruto was ready to pull out his hair in frustration. He said he wasn't lost, dammit, so then he wasn't lost! He knew where to go - you just make a, uhh...left...there...?

Okay, fuck, he's lost. But there's no way he's actually going to admit to it - hell no. Maybe...did Kyuu know where to go? Maybe if he...?

**_"Kit, I can hear you thoughts, dumbass."_**

"Oh. Shit."

Sasuke groaned, "What, now? Don't tell me you've just realized you're lost?"

Naruto stared. "What?"

Sakura stared at him for a moment before she seemed to realize something, "Naruto?"

He looked at her, "Yeah?"

She blinked. "You spoke out loud."

He blinked back. "...what."

She sighed, "You said, 'oh, shit'."

Naruto stared for a few more seconds before going, "_Oooohhh_, okay. Thanks, Blossom."

"W-what?" She asked, stumbling in her walk.

Naruto made no move to answer her as he seemed to be singing under his breath. "_Oooookaaaayy_..."

'_Sooo_,' Naruto started, making sure he didn't speak aloud again, '_You have any idea where we are?'_

_**"No, but I think Stark might. Ask Sasuke to call him."**_

_'How's Sasuke going to call him?'_

_**"Bloodline. The technique is called, 'Lái Zhèlǐ'."**_

_'Okay, how do you use it?'_

_**"It's pretty simple, actually. All you need is some water. What you'll do, is you gotta call out, 'Yā, lái zhǎo wǒ!' while in front of some kind of body of water - it can be anything from an ocean to a small puddle. Easy, right, kit?"**_

_'Yeah, that sounds easy enough. Here, I'll tell him.'_

"Hey, yo, Shounen Jump's Duckeye!"

_**"Is that a reference or a pun?"**_

_'Shut up.'_

"What?" Sasuke's sneered at him.

"I need you to summon Stark."

He frowned, "Why me?"

"Bloodline."

Sasuke 'tsk'ed.

"Just - here," Naruto took out a water bottle and found a fairly large leaf, pouring the water from the container onto the leaf so it wouldn't spill and sink into the dirt. "All you have to do, is call out, 'Yā, lái zhǎo wǒ'."

**_"Oh, and he has to touch the water while he says it!"_**

Naruto growled at Kyuu, before adding, "And you have to be touching the water when you say it - just putting your hand on it should be enough."

Sasuke squinted at Naruto in suspicion before consenting, not trusting him entirely, but wanting to get out of this damn forrest, already.

Kneeling down in front of the leaf, Sasuke gently put his hand atop the water barely touching, before speaking loudly, "Yā, lái zhǎo wǒ!"

Suddenly he screamed and fell back, when he felt something warm and hairy press against the palm of his hand. The three of them then watched in shock as Stark slowly rose out of the water till he was perched on the leaf. "I have feathers, not hair, dumbass."

Sasuke choked as Sakura and Naruto looked lost, "You can hear my thoughts now?! What the fuck?!"

Naruto gave Sasuke a weird thought, "What the hell kind of thoughts are you having? 'I have feathers, not hair'? The fuck? And I thought Kyuu and I had weird conversations..." The last part was muttered as he stared off a bit into the distance, and it was Sasuke and Sakura giving him weird looks this time, Stark just going, "Eh, the two of you? I'm not surprised," in Drakenese.

There was a few seconds of silence as didn't move or speak, before Stark suddenly squawked. They all simultaneously jumped, staring at Stark, like: 'What the fuck?'

"What's up, Stark?" Naruto asked the duck.

He did the duck equivalent of a smirk, saying, "My cousin! Señor Pato!"

Sasuke sneered, while mentally shivering in memory of what had been dubbed _The Duck Dream_ - lord knows how the rest of Team 7 had found out, "_You_ have a _cousin_?"

"Si, si - as he would say! He just contacted me using Duck Telepathy! He said he's coming to visit soon!"

Naruto kneeled down smiling, to pat him on the back, "Good for you! I take it you haven't seen him in a while?"

"No, not in a long time, no! I miss him - he's the best! You guys'll love him! Speaking of you guys," he said turning to Sasuke, "You called?"

"Wait," Sakura interrupted, confused, "You have telepathy?"

"All ducks have it - along with of ton of other 'supernatural' abilities you humans have no idea about!" He paused, "...or didn't know about..."

"Uhm," Kakahi, like Sakura, interrupted, "is no one else wondering why we can suddenly understand duck-speak?"

Stark snorted, "First of all, it's called _Drakenese_ - the language only spoken by male ducks - and second, that's because Sasuke's power has grown stronger - strong enough that's it's affecting those around him. You ever seen _Doctor_ _Who_? _D . Gray - __man_? Come on, humans! Step up your game!"

No one had anything to say to that.

Stark cleared his ducky-throat, "_Anyway_ - back to Mr. Bloodline here..._you called_?"

Sasuke started, "Oh, right...! We, uh...you...um..."

Stark turned to look at Naruto, and raised his duck equivalent of an eyebrow.

"Do you know how to get to the meeting point?" Naruto said, explaining for Sasuke, who merely turned his head away, grumbling to himself.

"Oh, yeah, yeah - just follow me!" He said, as he took off, Team 7 rushing to keep up with the surprisingly fast duck. In no time at all, they'd arrived safe and sound, and pitifully out of breath, at their final destination.

"Not bad, Stark," Kakashi complemented, looking around the room, and spotting only one other group on the other far end.

Suddenly, Naruto went rigid, before slowly turning around to face Kakashi. "Kaka-sensei...what the hell are you doing?"

Sasuke and Sakura frowned in confusion - what was he doing wrong? He was just standing there, perfectly normal, with them in -

"..." Sasuke and Sakura shared a look of horrified confusion, before turning back to face their sensei, "Sensei...why are you here? You not competing, and you're not a genin...?"

Kakashi stared for a second at the four of them, tilting his head to the side, "Oh. My bad." He then turned his focus his gaze solely on Stark. "Hola primo! Cómo estás?" _("Hello cousin! How are you?")_

Stark's eyes lit up, and he fluttered into the air for a second before landing. "Cousin! Cuz! My señor pato! How am I? Great, now that you're here! How are you?!"

Team 7 stuttered in disbelief - what the hell was going on?!

Suddenly, Kyuu slank out from behind Naruto, coming from god knows where, and came over to stand by Señor Pato and Stark. **"You must Señor Pato. Stark's told me a lot about you."**

"Es eso cierto?" Señor Pato-in-Kakashi's-Body remarked happily. "Sólo cosas buenas, espero!" _("Is that true?" "Only good things, I hope!")_

Kyuu smirked, **"****_Very_**** good things - welcome to the family, pato mascota del diablo." **_("devil's pet duck")_

Sasuke and Sakura groaned - why couldn't their teammates ever be _normal_ for once?

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><p><strong>I'll get to work on the next chapter as soon as I can.<strong>

**Ja ne.**

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><p><strong><em>EDIT: Stark's <span>speech<span> has been fixed. _**


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